Monday, September 14, 2009

No matter how alone you think you are - you aren't

Anonymous wrote:

I just recently came across your blog. Some of your entries could have been written by me, WORD FOR WORD. Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone.

I really wish more wives would blog. When I started this I honestly thought I was all alone. But I have learned that I'm not alone at all in this. While our experiences are all different - there is a common thread in dealing with diabetics who have lows and highs. There is the angst of their memory lapses, dealing with the cruel and cutting words, yet continuing to stay, continuing to love them.

So no matter how alone any of us might think we are at the moment it happens....know that none of us are every really alone.

Now, that being said - it's not just can be anything that causes grief and pain. I have a good friend here who has a 21 year old son who is threatening suicide. He is in counseling. She left on vacation. The therapist called my friend in a panic because she could not find my friends son and feared he had committed suicide.

This poor woman was 1300 miles away from home. WHAT was the therapist doing calling her? Of course, it put the dear woman into sheer panic and I don't think she has stopped crying, although she is back home now.

My words to her were straight forward. The boy is 21. She was an exceptional mom. He is now responsible for his decisions, for the choices he makes. And while his choices will grieve her, break her heart, rip her soul out....the most important thing she can do is accept that they are his choices and she can no longer change him, fix him, mend is up to him from now on and has been up to him for the past few years.

And then it hit me.....I could have just as easily been talking about any non-compliant diabetic. We can expend 100% of our energy taking care of them, making sure they eat right, getting them to exercise, trying our best to keep them healthy and compliant. But in the end.....we can't fix them, we can't force them, and we cannot be responsible for the choices that they make.

So the best thing we can do is get on with our lives, live our lives to the fullest, live a prepared life knowing that they might die any second, be always ready for a low or a high, but most important, take care of our own selves - so that we have the energy to take care of them when we have to.

And know that we are never alone


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