Dear Tom's Wife:

You are brilliant. You wrote on your blog:

we are not alone. just sometimes lonely

It doesn't matter how busy I keep my self - how much I get involved with other women, other families, my family, my friends....I still have moments while I am so lonely I could die.

While I know my sisters all understand what I am going through.....they haven't walked a mile in my shoes.

While I can go see a therapist, join a diabetes support group....no one else has lived what I am living.

But while I am lonely - at least I know it will end when I surround myself with other people and for a few short hours....I can forget "this" life as I step into "that" life. It does give me a reprieve. It does help.

What I truly hate the most are the professionals who tell us what to do to make this work.....yet they don't live with someone who has diabetes....ok, scratch that. They don't live with someone who has diabetes and doesn't take care of themselves. Huge difference! I can't fathom how you can help someone else when you haven't lived the experience yourself. Books are books. Theory is just theory. Don't tell me to give him sugar until you have been been throught the harrowing experinece of him passing out and you can't possibly get a single thing in his mouth! Can you tell I don't have much use for professionals who think they have all the answers when they haven't lived the experience.

So, unless one of us wants to take time out and return to school - I doubt there's any real help for any of us except what we can gain from each other!

Love the idea of meeting with other spouses.....but here's the problem with that. I have to remain anonymous myself in order to keep the "peace" here. If he thought for one second that I blogged....or that I was meeting another wife....I would have to leave for sure. Sad, huh? I'm going to guess there are several of us in the same position. We are not allowed to talk about this disease, not allowed to mention it, can't discuss it with our families and friends unless we do it in utter secrecy.

But I totally agree - some days, I wonder how much any of us can take.

Hugs to you, Tom's wife - and to all the other wives.

DW