Sunday, August 23, 2009

Sue wrote:

My husband is the exact image of what you describe. He has high blood pressure and diabetes. He is very verbally abusive just to me every night. He drinks beer and says he can. (Can't shoots his sugar through the sky) He is very agitated and likes to argue every night. Tells me I am not a good wife,etc. (All very unreasonable) Sometimes when he is having an "episode" he smells like ammonia. What is that? He does not smell fruity breathed. I have been to the marriage counselor, to his family and he doesn't do this to them. My kids and I have suffered for over 17 years with this hard headed man in denial. He is always nice in the morning. I do not know how to get him to test his sugar. He is Type II and on a pill which he says he doesn't need. Also, he is going off his BP meds. he says. He will not allow me to talk to his doctor. Why do they scream and rant? over the littles things? Even if I am pleasant, he starts on me twisting the words and making a fight;.I leave the house and pray. Will this ever stop? I think it is diabetes that is poorly managed. (His dad was a very noncomplient diabetic and I had no respect for him...very self centered and pompous.) Mean to my husband's mother.
I wish the doctors would talk to us!
God bless...and I will pray for all of us here.

I think I remember reading something about ammonia and kidney disease - you could probably google it.

Your husband sounds just like mine. That "twisting the words and making a fight" usually happens when mine is starting down a sugar drop. I have learned to say, "I'm hungry, can we go out to eat?" and if I can get food in him within 20 minutes - we usually avert the fight.

It also helped to have his meds all changed around.

Mine won't let me talk to his doctors either. But I made an appointment with a diabetic nurse at the clinic he goes to and was pretty straight forward with her about how miserable my life was. She got his doctor to call him in and that's when they changed his insulin shots around. Fortunately, he will take the shots and all the pills they give him.....he just continues to eat what and when he wants which doesn't help a thing!

My husband's father is a diabetic as well and I see the same things in him that you see in yours. I just pray my husband's son doesn't develop diabetes.....but he seems to be very likely to do just that.

Good luck!



Anonymous said...

Sue, I'm so sorry. The reason they don't want you to talk with the doctor is because they know they are wrong. They know the doctor will tell you what they are supposed to do. But we all know that's a losing battle anyway. When they are very high or very low, they are not reasonable -- it doesn't matter what is correct -- they are not in their right minds. So welcome to our club, thank goodness for DW, she is our leader in our "little" group of beleaguered wives who know what to do but never quite figure out how to do it.

Good luck!

tom's wife

Anonymous said...

Hi to all. I just read Sue's post... I am so sorry you have to go through this. Been there ... My husband is non-compliant, verbally abusive, on dialysis, waiting for a kidney. He now has "sharko", needs major surgery on his feet (with over a year for recovering for each foot), I am living the nightmare. All I can say is be strong, you know that this is his disease and no matter what you do, he has to make his own decisions. It drives me crazy, but really the truth is ... if he doesn't care enough about his own life, I cannot do a thing about it. You are in my prayers and thoughts!