she wrote, "I can't go on like this".....

on a comment on my last post and I will write, "yes you can!" We all stay in a diabetic relationship for some reason or other. And as long as we continue to make the choice to stay....then we have to go on like this. There isn't another option because you can't change another person - you can't change him, you can't fix him, you can't make it right....you can only change yourself.

So I have learned that until I make the decision to walk away from this, I can go on....even when I think I can't. How? We do it by finding something to occupy our time - a job, a hobby, volunteer somewhere. We do it by surrounding ourselves with a family of friends and a support system. For some of us, we blog - we write down the things that upset us, we vent, we rant, we throw a temper tantrum via the keyboard. For each of us, we simply do it one step at a time.

But I would never ever think bad of anyone who made the choice to leave. Being with a non-compliant diabetic is just about the most difficult thing on the face of the earth. My hubby is still gone, so I am getting a reprieve and this is what we do - he goes to his family, I go teach art - we give each other a break from the every day life of diabetes.

It has been 12 days since his grandmother died and she is still in the morgue. No creamation or burial yet. I am just not sure what is going on but think that probably no one can make a decision. His mother was in a car wreck today. She is 76 and probably has no need to be behind the wheel of a car. His work is laying off more people. So I am sure the stress he is enduring at the moment is the "adrenaline" that is keeping him pumped up. Which means that if he is in a constant high the whole time he is gone, he will have major crashes when he gets back home.

I will be leaving in 3 weeks for a 3 week teaching trip - so I know I can survive whatever happens when he gets home - I have an "out"!

A few good things to report: I have purged this house of anything sweet, chips, crackers, etc. All the soda is gone. It's been a very good 2 weeks here!!!

DW