Thursday, June 05, 2008

Kidney stones

This morning he went to bed about 9:30 am and did not get back up until about 2:30 pm. Tonight he told me he thought he had been passing a kidney stone. He said he hasn't had one in about 20 years. He thinks it has passed.

He is just not sticking to the "diet" at all. Tonight we went out and he had a hamburger and fries. Exactly what he does not need.

He said he thought he might be depressed. I suggested talking to his doctor and perhaps going on meds for that. He just blew me off. As usual. But he did say that he wondered if that is why he sleeps all the time.

He has also reversed his position this week on downsizing and moving to a 1 level condo. Now he says we are staying here and installing an elevator. But I think that's ridiculous. It doesn't solve the issues of getting a wheelchair into a bathroom. Just trying to think about what is best for us for the future. I just can't keep up with the cleaning, gardening and yardwork. It is exhaustive.


Fran said...

It's been almost 10 months since I last posted a comment. I though I could handle most of his nonsence and at least try to work with him. WRONG!! Things have been worse than worse. We are, rather, we have been trying to moved to another state for three, 3 months now. The travel time is four hours in a car and 5 hours in a truck with a trailer that I drive. He no longer communicates with me and has now found a new life in the four daughters that don't give a D--n about him just the money they will get from him. Here is a short version of what is going on. We move to another state from a house to a 3 bedroom apartment. He is pissed off because I can't move furniture like a man! He is too weak. He stops taking ALL of his meds for weeks because he does not care about anyting any more. Then tells me he is the sick one. He's 5 years younger than me. I'll be 61 this year. I get help to move and drive the first load of stuff in a 17 foot truck at night when I can't see that well either. He gets 2 of his daughter to drive his precious caddy to NC and I'm supposed to drive the 150 with the trailer attached in the rain. NO can do. He gets pissed off and stays in NC without me in the apartment. He now could care less if I show up and this house that he refinanced 4 times and is now ready to be forclosed on is where I sit an wait for him to get the final truck for moving. Needless to say I will be getting another truck, getting my kids to help move and drive three cars, all at my expense. He is supposed to have a MRI, but he won't schedule it because he does not think he is crazy. He treats me worse than a pimps treats his B----.His kids are only hearing one side of the story and of course his nowworseing condition is my fault. I am consently feeling gulity, tired, sick and scared. Last weekend I had it out with him and told him I needed answers. How do you feel about me and our marriage and he responded with "I told you earlier I dont care what you do! I asked him if he wanted me to move with him, he did not answer, just asked if I had rented my condo. I said, so your are putting me out and I have nowhere to go. He said there are 3 bedrooms where we are moving to. So last
Monday, I drove the caddy and my son-in-law drove the pickup with the trailer. After about an hour of our arrrival, a knock at the door and then his daughter, 2 grandkids and his EX enters our apartment. Looks like in my absence she's been there before. Calls me by my first name and sits on the floor for the long haul visit. Then his daughter comments on how he will be babysitting them for a few days. He can't cook on electric and has nothing but frozen dinners in the freezer. I of course told him how well set up he was in my absence and how nice it was to have his family around him. This man has lost his mind! He could fall out anytime with his not taking his insulin and pills. He does not acknowledge me as his wife and told his kids he gives them the authority and power to make medcal decisions should he end up on life support! WHAT THE HELL????? But what I don't get is this. For 9 years I have given him respect, loyalty, committment and love. Is this the reward!!!! I"m not handling any of this very well at all. I'm tired, lonely and sick. I worry, I can't eat or sleep. Did counseling, got pills for depression (which I did not need, but he made me believe I did), talked to GOD and family and still feel like crap. Venting is Great, I need answers to really make me feel better. Thanks Fran

Diabeteswife said...

Oh fran, I am so happy to hear from you, but so sad to hear what's been going on in your life. I'm not sure I could go through it if it were me - I think I would leave. Life is just too short for an ex-wife to come camp out. That would probably be my last straw.

I know you are lonely and scared, but we can all start over, at any age. Can you find a nice 55+ community where rent is cheap and move there? Be with people your age who really care? I know there are several in Florida!

This is just such a horrible disease. I so fear I will be following in your footsteps. I want to move now while I still can physically, but he won't budge. I don't know how you are doing this at your age. It just is not right, not fair, and you shouldn't have to be going through this.

I will say a prayer for you and just pray that your life will lighten up quickly and that you can find happiness and new friendships!

Please keep us posted!