Sunday, June 15, 2008

Father's Day blues

This has nothing to do with diabetes, but everything to do with how a non-compliant diabetic reacts. He woke up in a totally foul mood today. Just a completel grump. I thought he needed to eat, so offered to take him out for Father's Day. Seems the problem was that his 33 year old daughter had said she would come visit today and then he did not hear from her after that conversation a month ago. But then, he did not call her to follow-up either.

My son (his step-son) called to wish him a Happy Father's Day and that at least put a smile on his face. But he sat here and sulked and sank into an even deeper depression as the day went on. He didn't want to do a thing (was waiting for the phone to ring) and the longer it went without ringing, the worse his mood got.

I can't help but think part of this is just normal, but part has to do with sugar levels being out of whack, on-going depression already in place due to meds, and his recent state of being lethargic all the time.

His son finally did call him at 9:30 pm tonight. His daughter never called and never showed up. I feel so sorry for him. I know he dearly loves his kids and they treat him horribly. I'd have to say that overall, today was about a minus 10. I'm so tired. I think the caregiver needs to take care of herself tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

My SO (diabetic for 30 years) suffered a vitreous hemorrhage 10 days ago and we have been to hell and back and we're totally freaking out about his new visual impairment. We were also told by drs that he will be going completely blind (he's already blind in one eye) due to diabetic retinopathy. We just don't know when. He was working until 10 days ago but is now on disability. Wondering if we could converse by email? Can U respond in these comments? If not, I totally understand. I need a kindred spirit so badly. Not sure if you remember me; I commented once before. I love your blog, of course. Thanks, SueB PS - My SO had a horrible Father's day with kids who treat him like crap as well.

Widow of a Diabetic said...

Hello, DW and the rest of 'the sisterhood.'

It's been a while since I've been here and longer since I posted. As I read DW's posts and some of your comments, I go flashing back to my life from 1990-2005. Non-compliance, "stupid doctors", being the bad guy, trying to stop the children from being angry, fighting with the insurance company, affording the meds, affording the rent, trying to prepare meals for a diabetic-cardiac-renal patient (good luck on that one).

My heart aches for you all. Please know that there are people out here who know what you are going through....the lectures from the medical staffs about the need for compliance (really?!?! I never knew that?!?!? TELL HIM!)...all of the worry and the exhaustion and minimal thanks.

God bless each of you. I will keep all of you in my prayers.

Diabeteswife said...

Dear SueB - you can email me at

I usually check there every 2-3 days unless I'm traveling. I don't know if you saw my post where my hubby is having optical migraines - total white-outs. It scares me to death. I'm doing almost all of the driving these days.

And dear "widow". I would love to hear more from you. What was the final progression like? What were the symptoms? Was he ESRD? on dialysis? I know each person is going to be different - but there has to be some path, something similar - at least I would think. And I have searched, but just can't seem to find a surviving widow who is willing to share the details of her experience. But then, it must be near impossible to relive the memory over and over.


Widow of diabetic said...

Hello to all

I am willing to talk about anything to do with our family's experience. I felt like I was alone, that MY husband was being a giant butthead or that I was doing something wrong (thank you trained, professional medical people). But the more I have talked with surviving family members, the more I realize that there must be physiological changes that occur that make these otherwise wonderful men so .... well, stupid. The depression can only explain so much. If I can spare anyone any awful surprises or feelings of 'it's me', then I want to help. There is safety (and sanity) in numbers.

Yes, my husband had ESRD along with the multitude of other complications. There was no getting better, just continued decline and watching it all happen. Ask me anything - I'll try to answer the best I can remember and always honestly.