Thursday, May 10, 2007

Why are diabetics so sensitive?

Recently I have been inundated with posts that I have not allowed. They seem to be coming from rather young, type 1 diabetics. People trying to tell me, the spouse of a type 2 diabetic, how to take care of him.

I was told that my question "Does diabetes make you lazy?" is an "unfair question". HELLO!!! It is a question. Not a statement, not an opinion..just a question!!! How on earth can a question be unfair....unless you are reading it as a statement!

I was told that "diabetes doesn't make anyone anything except a person with a disfunctional pancreas". OK....what about a pair of non-functioning kidneys? What about all the other things that diabetes makes a person? What about the emotional things it makes a person? Aren't there just a myriad of things that diabetes "makes" a person? I think the author of that comment must be in denial about all the things that diabetes is.

Note: the words "I think" should be read "this is just my opinion, it is not a statement, and it is not a general statement about all diabetics"!!!

I was told that I have "strong words against diabetes". Sorry, my words are about the results of diabetes....not about diabetes itself. Read carefully....I am writing about the impact that this disease has on a spouse. And it is my PERSONAL story of what happens in this single, solitary family.

But I may change my mind on that one. If having diabetes gives you the "right" to write stuff like this to me....then perhaps you need to sit back and look internally to who you are.

Someone wrote to me "I belive diabetes management is best done when there are multiple people "assisting" the person with the disease. Not doing it for them, not hand holding them every step of the way, but doing what they can to make the burden just a little easier and less lonely."

Well, I will respond to that comment with this: Who is here "assisting" me when he is having a low and is screaming at me to get out of the house? Who is making that a little less lonely? It sure as heck is not him! He can't even remember that he did it....let alone be there for me. Life is a 2-way street. It is give and take. It's not just all take, take, take.....which IS how it is in this house.

There needs to be some balance here. If you have this disease, this blog is not something you are going to want to read....unless you want to make life for your spouse a little easier. If you have type 1, I doubt this blog is for you either.

If you really want to know the frustrations that your spouse might be feeling, if you really want to hear the voice of a woman who is married to a man who does not take care of his out-of-control diabetes, keep reading. If you have highs and lows and don't remember what happened, then read here. If your spouse tells you things that you don't remember, or you don't believe, then read here.

I will continue to write my own, very personal, thoughts on this disease as a view that most of you may not want to hear. I will continue to moderate comments and I will not allow any that come from angry diabetics. Sorry, it's my blog and I will set my own rules. I just wanted to post this to clarify where I am coming from.

That being said, may all of you women have a wonderful Mother's Day weekend. If you are the spouse to a diabetic, I especially hope your day is calm and level...you deserve that at least one day a year!

3 comments:

Lori Rode said...

Happy Mother's Day to you, dear Wife!

Your post was, IMHO, 100% spot on.

Your situation is very different from those dealing with Type 1. It's as if you're married to a man who has a serious mental illness or a serious drug problem.

Keep posting, sister!

From one wife of a diabetic to another,

LoriRode

AmyT said...

Alright, Diabeteswife, I'm game. May I invite you to submit a post to The Diabetic Partner Follies (at http://www.diabetesmine.com/the_diabetic_partner_follies/index.html)
and tell us how it really is?

Email me: amy@diabetesmine.com

Happy Mother's Day, however you happen to view it.

Fidelity said...

Hello there
At first, i'd like to say how much i appreciate your blog. Writing about your experiences isn't easy, i'm sure. I've browsed through your posts and comments you have received and some of them have been very thoughtless, the comments i mean. I'm very young type 1 diabetic myself. Reading your posts gives food for thought and actually this blog would be something i'd like to show my father (who's type 1 too) if only he could understand english. We have had problems with my dad's diabetes too. He also has, several times, refused to think that he'd have problems taking care of himself. There's been times when even his family has been in danger because of him. He has so many times ignored us completely which gives us a feeling that our feelings have been badly underestimated, like they wouldn't even exist. It hurts. Although i can't fully identify with the pain you're going through, i can just imagine the hardships you are going through.
I hope you keep writing the blog, i'd like to give you all my support.
Take care!