I had promised that when he died, I would continue to write. But I can see why so many don’t. It is hard to think about diabetes because I truly want to completely forget about it. I don’t want to remember a single thing about it.
Yet I continue to meet people who ha be it. My 40 year old son has been diagnosed as pre-diabetic. Yes, I sort of just want to scream at him!
It is hard not to admonish people when I see their plate fillers with carbs and sugar. But it is their choice.
It is hard not to give free,unsolicited advice! But I don’t. It is their disease, just like it was his.
I think that’s one of the hardest parts of being a diabetic widow. Yep...new title. But that’s what I am. Not just a widow...but a diabetic widow. Someone who lost their spouse to this needless, senseless disease. But still...it was his disease, not mine.
I have finally finished all the paperwork, business, and legwork of death. That is a happy place to be. It just take so much time. Bank accounts were the hardest. T-mobile was by far the easiest! I’ve started ebay and am taking that ever so slowly. And I’m still sorting, cleaning, preparing to move.
But the social aspect of living is getting better. I’ve started taking art classes, going out to lunch and dinner with friends, have even taken a couple of short trips. Winter has set in and the yard work is over for now. I’m back to crafty indoor projects...recovered som office chairs, made some pillows and getting back into the swing of living.
Don’t get me wrong. I still have my weepy moments. And my crying moments. But they are getting fewer and farther between incidences. I have moments when I miss him so much I can’t breathe. I have moments when I still get so mad at him I can’t see straight! I think all of that is just normal grief. But all of it is evening out, becoming much less of my life and more of my past. You have to keep moving forward so you don’t fall into a dark hole.
My foot has healed nicely which helps. I’m hoping to start walking soon and that will help. Please pray that an apartment opens up so I can get this house on the market. It would be one less thing for me to worry about!
Bottom line...life is good and I know it will get even better. Hope you are hanging in there!
DW
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1 comment:
Thanks for writing.
When it comes to pass that you start to think about whether or not to let another man into your life, I'd like to know your thoughts.
Sometimes I feel like I'll never want another person to make me their nursemaid (or a slave to their lifestyle) again.
Other times I have hope that it's possible to find happiness in a shared life with someone who takes good care of themselves and so might even help you (me) to also be better and healthier and happier for the relationship.
There are many different points of view on this but I'd really like to hear your thoughts as you go.
Thanks again for your honesty and forthright-ness.
Managing (but barely)
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