I know exactly how you feel. And this blog illustrates to me just how long a non-compliant diabetic's chronic decline can affect their loved one's lives. It seems endless, and with no hope for getting better. Only a promise of years to come with losses and horrible physical and mental problems to contend with. Having your own life aside from that horror is key to maintaining your sanity and health through the duration of this event in your life. The option is to leave. So if you decide to be there for your loved one, you must take care of yourself first. Even if it sounds selfish. Put your oxygen mask on first - THEN help your neighbor. - get it ?!That means find something to do in your life that you love. Do it every day if you need to. Protect your self. A friend put it this way: Don't let your life get stuck iin the axle of their illness. We are all separate to some degree, even when healthy and happy. Realize that. Don't feel guilty about it.
I liked the analysis of putting your oxygen mask on first....then helping those around you. I think that's a very good thought.
But sometimes in a crisis, I forget to do that! Something I am going to work on.
The good thing for me is that I have found a variety of things that I love to do.....and I do them as often as possible.
And yes, a non-compliant diabetic's chronic decline seems endless. Absolutely no hope of getting better. Just more and more things going wrong with the body, more medications, more side effects. Maybe the hardest part is to watch the other person decline right in front of your eyes.
Or to notice the tiny little differences from one day to the next:
"why is the skin under your eyes so white today" (a symptom of kidney failure)
"why are you so quiet today?" (depression, pain, drug effects?)
it seems endless at times. So I go garden. I have strawberries blooming in October - a great reminder that there is hope, no matter what the season is. :o)