Saturday, April 13, 2013

He's back!!

I must really be a terrible person.  I am so not enjoying his company.  He is passing the worst gas ever.  We were in the car for an hour today and I thought I was goimg to vomit.  That's how rank it was.  I know he can't help it, but I can't stand that rank sweet smell that tells me his sugar is out of kilter.  Have you ever smelled what I'm talking about?

He has the volume on the TV so loud the floor vibrates.  Has he gotten that deaf?

H started out driving today and in 5 minutes he had to pull over.  He took a prescription pain pill last night and it made him start to get ill.  I was happy to drive, but I wonder why he even wanted to head out.

He bangs every single door whether it is the kitchen cabinets, the bedroom door or the front door.  I don't know why or when that started.  I think I am just over sensitive to everything right now.  But sad as it sounds, I am not enjoying his company.  Nothing has changed.  It's like I stepped back in time to 7 months ago.  All I can say is that I was blessed to have such a long break.  I am really, truly sorry that I feel this way.  I don't think he has a clue.  He is just like a bull in a china store...plodding his way through life completely obvious to how fragile things around him are!!!


Anonymous said...

Oh no!
I can totally imagine that if Tom went away for awhile, I would be sad at first, then I would get used to it, and then I wouldn't want him back.

They are so much work
(and yes I know the smell -- YUCK!)

of course you are not "bad", "mean" or any other labels you come up with

you just have a major burden with him

you have had the chance to take a break and learned that (1) you can do well on your own and (2) he no longer really contributes positively to the relationship

that's not you -- that's him

life goes on

you will figure out what to do....

Lilly said...

Oh honey . . . no, you're not terrible! You have just been away from the craziness for awhile, and found out you liked it that way. And yes, it does make us feel terrible when we realize that we don't enjoy having them around. Don't be too critical of yourself. And just think: if he has to be there at all, isn't it awesome that it's "only" for 10 days?

Lilly said...

And yes, I have smelled that rank sweet smell before . . . not a good thing at all.