Tuesday, July 12, 2011


Does it go hand in hand with diabetes?  I have to wonder.  Is it connected to any type of disease or disability?  Is it just the nature of some people?  Is it magnified in some people because they have a disease?

"I'm sick, so I can't do that"
"My back hurts, I can't do that"
"I have a headache so I'm just going to lay here and watch TV"
(I never fully understood that one - you have a headache yet you can watch the motion and noise from a TV?)
"I think I'm going low, we have to stay home"
"I don't have the energy to walk through the grocery store, you will have to do it"

get the pattern?  And because they have all these "excuses" they don't have to do a thing.

I told hubby 6 years ago that the windows in our house were starting to get bad.  Paint stripping away form the wood.  Leaks.  The house is just 17 years old now, so only 11 years old them.

3 years ago I pointed out to him the water coming in from one of the upper windows during a rain.

A year ago I told him I thought we had mold in one of the windows

This week, I took down the blinds, started stripping paint, sanding, recaulking, painting......

We have a huge house.  Enormous floor to ceiling windows.  5 in the breakfast nook alone - where I started.

It HAS to be done.  We cannot sell this place the way it is.

I asked him if he would help me.  He said, "You know I don't do stuff like this.  I hire it done."  I SCREAMED at him, "you know you can't afford to hire it done!"

He picked up a piece of sanding paper and said, "what do I do?"

I YELLED at him to get out of the kitchen - to just go upstairs and get out of my sight.

So there he's been all week until today - he parks himself in the family room off the kitchen with the TV on blare.  I asked him if he  would go to Lowes and buy me a new sander.  He said "no".

I am livid.  Again.  He has manipulated this situation to the point where I am sanding and repairing all the windows, painting the walls and baseboard as I go, while he sits in his recliner watching TV, eating nuts and petting the dogs.

I just want to scream my head off.

My pain level is excrutiating today.  I am ready to simply walk out of here.  And I may yet.  Just go back to my sister's for another week.  I am so pissed off at him.

But then, we all know he does not want to sell this house.  He does not want to move.  So this is intentional on his part.  To not repair or fix a thing and thus, he can't sell it.

He is such an asshole.  Diabetes is his crutch.  It allows him to manipulate me, plus everyone else he knows, into doing things for him.  I hate this disease.  But today, I hate him even more.

And I now honestly know why he doesn't even try to take care of himself.  If he were healthy - he wouldn't have this crutch and he might actually have to get off his ass and do something.

Horrible human being.

DW - really pissed off today!


Rachael said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lilly said...

You are pissed off with good reason!

My hubby uses his diabetes and the resultant aches, pains, and messed up blood sugars to his advantage most of the time, too. I realize that he quite often feels like crap, but to just cave to this and sit in front of the TV, turned to "blare," as you so aptly put it . . . not acceptable! Because here's the thing:

I am absolutely certain that if I ended up with some serious disease tomorrow, he would still expect me to do everything I do now, while he continued to do little to nothing.

Is it possible that you could sell the house "as is?" I don't know the different real estate rules and laws, so don't know if this is a possibility.

Take care, and hang onto your sanity in whatever way you can. Some days, that's easier said than done.

sar said...

Manipulation and the negative behaviors of control and avoidance of doing what they do not wish to do at our expense are part and parcel of this disease. H has not worked in over 10 years, makes constant demands of me and refuses to accept responsibility for anything he has caused. This is the negativity of the non-compliant diabetic which the medical professionals choose to ignore. I wish I knew this years ago. My life would have been very different.