Saturday, July 16, 2011

Diabetic labels

Rachel wrote:  I don't think you can blame it on Diabetes. I am a type 1 diabetic, have been through two separate major rounds of chemo, almost have lost my life and hand to infection, and have had countless surgeries. My kidneys are failing and I have heart problems. I NEVER use any of my health problems as an excuse, if anything it's just the opposite, I work until I am ready to fall on my face. I can work circles around any healthy person even on a bad day. I usually work 60 hours a week and have a farm for a hobby. If people play that kind of manipulation game, they will find any excuse. Giving another label to diabetics is cruel. Although some may disgrace us with this behavior, it is not a characteristic of all diabetics. Please use care when placing labels, and good luck.

 You claim you are not manipulative.  However, by saying it is cruel to give another label to diabetics....aren't you being manipulative?  The definition of the word is:  to negotiate, control, or influence (something or someone)cleverly, skilfully, or deviously.

If you tell me it's cruel to use a label - you are trying to influence me to do something else.  That's manipulation.

And that, my dear, is the problem with diabetics.  So fast to make slow to accept responsibility.  The fact that you can work circles around a healthy person has very little to do with's how you treat those healthy people, what you expect/ask/want them to do for you.  

Do you:
ask someone to carry glucose tabs with them in case you go low?
expect someone else to give you orange juice or something when you go low?
ask someone else to eat at a specific time because you need to?
ask someone else to limit carbs, sugar....any foods they might like because you don't eat it?
think someone else should call 911 when you pass out.....because the love you?
think that the person you are in a relationship should want to help you because they love you?
ask someone else to make room in their refrigerator for your insulin, or make room on the shelves for your medical supplies?  
do you give consideration for what other's might feel when they see you injecting yourself?
do you expect someone else to assist you with your injections?

I think you get the gist.

Diabetics as a whole seem to think that the people around them that love them are mandated to assist them with the day-to-day operations of this disease.  Based on "love".  I contend that it's your life, your disease, you deal with it.  I'd feel that way about any disease.  

Finally, remember, this is my place to vent so that in real life, I can support my husband as a loving wife.  I don't say these things to him.  I say them here.  And remember that he has had 35 years of non-compliance so I'm sure the outcomes of his daily life are much, much different from anyone younger, with less years of the disease ravaging their body.

Still....I'm going to stick with my "label".  He is manipulative and I suspect there are a lot just like him.


tired wife and mom said...

unless you live with a diabetic, you don't really understand what is involved in the day to day. I completely understand what you are saying. And if others disagree, they don't have to read what you write. You, and the others, have helped me so much...helped me to realize I'm not losing my mind, it's not my resposibility, and if I need to vent, you all understand and I can do it here.

Rachael said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Diabeteswife said...

Thanks Rachel, much appreciated!