Thursday, January 27, 2011

Would you donate a kidney?

Lilly did. Check out her story.

Hubby and I have already talked about this. My body seems to be allergic to any and all drugs. So I probably couldn't. He won't let his kids. They are probably both pre-diabetic. But I think Lilly's post is really good. Who out there looks at possible complications for the donor?

I once knew a gal who went skiing and when she got to the base of the run, had completely stopped, she lost her balance and fell over into a big rock. She had a kidney that was so damaged it had to be removed. What if she had already donated her other kidney to someone she loved?

I think we just don't think about the ramifications of what we do. We don't plan for the future. Lilly said her hubby was ready to quit dialysis. My hubby has said he will never start dialysis. He says it's a form of life support and he is against that in any form. I see his point. But I wonder.

I wonder if his kidneys will survive 2 operations 2 days apart, each surgery lasting a minimum of 6 hours. I think the word "minimum" scares me. No one has mentioned what the maximum might be.

He is on humulin. We had so many problems with his open heart surgery getting his humulin to him in a timely manner. Hospitals just don't understand how it works. It is 5 times concentrated a normal insulin dose. So you take 1/5th the amount. We have to take his personal supply in and the pharmacy keeps it and fills the needle and then dispenses it. He's supposed to have it at 8:30 am with a meal. Last time - he'd go til noon without it being delivered. And yes, I'm the one sitting there calling the nurses asking where it is - he's going to be out of it the first few days.

But surgery with a diabetic has it's own complications. Hospitals just don't seem to care. They don't understand nutrition, the importance of eating on time, the importance of injections on a schedule. They have their own protocols and who are we to insert a different medication with a different protocol?

So I was up all night long thinking about this. Do I make sure I' there at 8:30 am every morning to start the calls of "where is the humulin"? Do I make certain they give him humulin and not hospital insulin? Do I check the needle to see if it's 5 units, not 5 cc?

I think that this time, I'm going to simply put him in the hands of the hospital staff and whatever happens - happens. I cannot be there 24/7. I can't be the hospital's "quality control". But "letting go" is nearly impossible to do when you care for someone so much. On the other hand, I know I'll wear myself out if I play "inspector".

I understand that from Monday at 10 am until Wed at probably 10 pm - I am going to be a total wreck! I understand that I have absolutely no idea how I am going to get through this. The good thing is that most of the time, he will be unconscious or drugged. Do you think they will give me some drugs? I almost think that if I ask for them, they will!

I understand that anything can go wrong. But I am also praying that everything goes perfectly correct.

Yesterday, I decided I was wearing myself out trying to stay positive. So I'm giving myself 24 hours to be negative! Starting tomorrow, I will go back to being positive and refuse to allow the worry, nagging, what-if thoughts to enter my head.

But maybe 24 hours of worry is good - just in case I need to be prepared.

We are planning a quiet weekend - before the "storm" (of surgery) on Monday!

I so appreciate all your prayers and good thoughts. This blog is about the journey, the road traveled, how to survive as the wife of a diabetic. I so often say that it is "his" disease, not mine. And it is. But the road I travel has been altered and impacted by his disease. Hopefully, this surgery will get us back on the path to healthy living. :o)



Lynn Barry said...

I do hope it will get you back on the road and I love reading your blog, my dear. You inspire me and I am in awe of how you express yourself. PRAYER AND THOUGHTS...and yes, HOPE. XO

Lilly said...

Thank you so much for putting a link to my transplant story in your last blog. I think I have gotten a lot of people reading it as a result. And yes, I do worry about protecting my remaining kidney. Honestly, knowing what I know now, I'm not sure I would do it again. And anyone who decides NOT to should be comfortable with that decision.

I sincerely hope you have been enjoying at least some of the weekend. You really need the calm before the storm!

It is so hard having our spouses in the hospital, knowing full well that so many things can go wrong. Also hard to figure out what our active roles in all of this should be! I know that for me, no matter what I have done (advocate or not; get angry with nurses and doctors and demand they listen, or just go with it?) when hubby is hospitalized, it's never totally within my "comfort zone." It's a very hard thing, and I will continue to keep both of you in my prayers and positive thoughts. I have done a lot of waiting and worrying in hospital and waiting rooms too, and none of it is fun. Take care of yourself the best that you can, because as you know, you will need the strength and patience for later! I very much hope for both of you that all goes well . . . hang in there!