Thursday, April 16, 2009

Angry diabetics in denial

sending me nasty posts that I just continue to reject. Yet you continue to prove to me that diabetics are exactly that....angry and in denial. It just amazes me!!!

I have to wonder if you do not understand the cycle that we spouses so clearly see? You do not take care of yourself. OK, you think you do, but you don't. Your sugar drops, you hit a low, and look out - the venom just spews forth from your mouth. There are even times when it becomes physical.

And you think this is a "little" problem? Well of course you do because you don't remember anything you say or do when you are in a low!!!

Because I refuse to take care of you does not make me anything other than a totally smart person. Your disease. Not mine. In fact, when I married you (when most of us married you) you were not in the condition you are in today. If you were, why on earth would we have gone on another date once you hit that first low with us? Nope, back then, you were actually pretty healthy. Little did we know the progression of this disease or that you would do so little to take care of yourself!

Oh, and the other thing I'd like for you to learn to do is to READ! HE is going on the vacation with me! LMBO! I'm not taking a vacation alone....HE is going, too! So you must have really been in a low when you wrote to me because you obviously can't even read!

Yep, just keep sending me your nasty little notes. I will reject them and write my rebuttals here so everyone else can say yep, must have been a non-compliant diabetic who is in denial writing something like that. I have proof. Just read back through all the comments that other spouses have written. I know I'm not alone in any of this. It's not me. It's you!!! After all, you are the one who has this disease. something to make yourself a little bit healthier rather than sending me your nasty little notes! :o)


1 comment:

Fran said...

DW - I followed some of your more than helpful rules and this is what has happened so far. I've been yelled at in public while at the Department of Motor vehicles as a matter of fact. He deliberatly missed his dialysis today because he wanted to register his cars with the new address. Needless to say it did not go well because he did not bring documentation required for the change. Of course it was my fault. The second incident was at the auto insurance company. He really blew up at me because I would not agree to be co-policy owner on his vehicles. He yelled that he was not going to drive and I reminded him that he just moved his car out of the driveway this weekend! And why would I want to be responsible, again, for a legally blind person driving after he has had 2 accidents in his cars when I did have it insured in my name.

He missed dialysis for these stupid cars that he can't even drive legally! I told him to call one of his daughters and get one of them to do it.

Well, he was so mad that when we got gome, he told me that he was leaving me! I acknowledged what he said with a smile and wished him success.

He proceeded to tell me that I did nothing for him and that I needed to look for a roommate and as soon as I found one he would move out. His sugar has been so low for days, I just ignored him for a while.

A while later he was on the phone looking for someone to come get him so he can start looking for a place to live. When I asked him why he was leaving me, after we have just moved from NC back to VA, he said he did not need to explain, he was just tired! I told him I understood his anger, pain and frustration regarding his desease, however, if he needed to move on so be it.

I felt empowered with my comment to him and confident that I can make it by myself.

He spent 5 hours on the phone telling various friends that he was tired and I was his problem and that he was moving out. One call he told the other woman, "as soon as I find a place for US I can go"

When I heared that I was furious, because I asked him who was the woman and he denied having one.

Now I'll be checking the cell phone bill. Next step attorney, then bank accounts!

I have told my children of his decision and they are concerned with my well being, since this rental home is a little more than I can afford alone. I asked him if he told his children about his decision and he said what for, I'm grown. (and stupid)

At my age now, 61, I just want peace.

I'm going to stop reading web sites about dialysis, non-compliant diabetics, etc.with the hope of helping him. It's clear that there are too many complications to watch out for and too many emotional issue that they have. Instead of finding ths information helpful I find it more and more depressing. Mainly because I can't help fix him!

And as you clearly stated, I have to live and take care of me. I looked at myself in the mirror the other day and said that's not me! Drawn, tired, bags under the eyes large enough to put a pony in. Hair not cut, nails look like I cleaned clams all day. Enough is enough!

Your rules have helped me regain some strength today dealing with this man from hell. Especially the one, that said, This is your desease not mine, you are responsible. If looks could kill I would be dead by now.

I am on a mission tomorrow and each day after, to be positive and productive for my own well being.

I believe I will be starting to walk on the right path for peace.

Thank you DW.