Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Normal A1c and daily highs and lows

When I visit the diabetic nutritionist, she continues to explain to me that although my husband's a1c is within normal range, every time he has a low, he has to be having a high at some point in order to balance the a1c to a normal range. And that those continued highs and lows are not so good for everything else that is going on in his body right now.

He thinks that because his a1c is normal, everything that is going on in his body is related to anything other than his diabetis.

He is such a brilliant man in so many areas, but his logic fails to present itself when it comes to this disease. This past weekend, he said he was having a low and reached for a piece of cake at a relative's house. I noticed that he did not test his blood sugar, so I ponder if he simply just wanted a piece of cake and knew I would see him eat it? or if he was really having a low.....and why did he not notice the "high" that he must have had to balance out his a1c?

Yesterday, we went out to lunch and he did eat a healthy lunch, but then topped it off with a huge piece of chocolate cake and ice cream.

With so many medical problems, I have to wonder if he's not trying to speed up the process, the natural progression of this disease by eating like this. Or is it just beyond the realm of possibilty for him to believe that he can halt the progression? He says that with a normal a1c, there is no need for him to prick himself at all.

There are weeks like this when I think this is the lull before the storm. What will I do if he goes blind? Will I stay? Would I be able to provide care for him? What will I do if the surgeon he is scheduled to visit recommends amputating his feet? There are days when it's almost too much to think about. There are days when I refuse to think about it at all. And there are days when I just get so angry and upset because he won't even try to halt the progression of this disease.

I think today needs to be a day for me to just put it all out of my head and find something constructive to do. One of the greatest things about blogging is that I can write down my fears.....and then stop thinking about them. can be such good therapy!

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