How many ways are there to handle your spouse's diabetes?

My dad's brother is married to a wonderful woman. They are in their 70s.  She has had diabetes all her life and recently had her leg amputated.  Prior to that, she had multiple surgeries trying to save her foot....cutting bits and pieces out at a time.

My uncle has always had a funny sense of humor - he simply can make any situation funny. He laughs a lot.  He never gets upset.  He has been that way my entire life.  And that is how he handles her diabetes.  Everything is a joke.  Everything.

And while that is how they get through every day or their life....that does not work for me.  My aunt has pretty much always ignored her diabetes.  Overweight.  Eats anything she wants.  Does not exercise.

I've been off for a visit with my mom and she made a comment that I found quite interesting.  She said that my aunt's daughter should go move her computer from the back bedroom to the living room so my aunt and my mom could email each other.  Apparently my aunt can no longer physically get to where the computer is.  They live about 1000 miles away from my mom.  And that gave me even a different perspective on different lifestyles.  My mom has her computer in her living room.  Skype is always on.  You just ring her up and she's there.  My aunt, has her computer in the back of her house, via a maze that she can no longer get through.

So is the way each family handles diabetes the way you handle your life as a whole?  To some is it a joke - to be written off completely?  To some, you hide it in the back corner of a room somewhere - out of sight, out of mind?  To others it's in the center of the living room - in the middle of your life and something you deal with every single day?

Oe does it move around?  Some days it's right there in front of you and you deal with it - other days it's hidden away and you don't even think about it.

Interesting thoughts.

Having been off on a visit to my mom and then my brother - I've escaped the whole diabetes thing for a few days.  Life is pretty good on the road!  LOL!  Back at home, I'm again painting walls and ceilings, moving entire rooms inside the house.  Exercise equipment is going to the basement and the front bedroom will be a studio/bedroom.  The current studio is getting turned into a library where I'm hopeful I can easily access cookbooks and medical reference books.  So loads of painting to keep my days occupied.  When done, I should have my own bedroom I can sleep in and we wills till have a guest room for when my sisters come to stay.

Hubby is still having horrible flatulence.  Doctor's visit is next Tuesday.  He still hasn't done labs that neuropathy requested he do a month ago.  We both got off track on the heathy eating while I was gone, but will start back on again today.  It's good to have goals!

DW

the diabetic generational delima

hubby is diabetic and non-compliant
hubby's father is diabetic and non-compliant
hubby's grandfather died from diabetes, probably non-compliant
hubby's great grandfather died from diabetes, probably no drugs at that time

I have witnessed hubby's father yelling and screaming, angry as a bear, in a diabetic low. He used to get so mad at me and just scream his head off at me as I sat there in a stupor trying to figure out what it was I had done to tick the guy off.

I finally realized what was going on and now I simply inform him that he does not have the "right" to talk to me that way. Most often he backs off and goes into the other room. I also do not go visit my in-laws one second more than I absolutely have to. I do not encourage my husband to go visit them either.

Additionally, my father-in-law has no recollection of any of these outbursts of his. He will deny that they ever happen.

So here's the delima.

My husband grew up in a house with this going on all the time. Dad screaming his head off at him. Mom screaming at dad trying to get dad's sugar levels to "fight" back up. Dad not remembering it happened at all and denying everything.

Hubby acquired diabetes at the age of 22. He most likely was the same way around his kids.

But what I have witnessed in the past few years:

Father-in-law gets into a low, gets angry, screams at the family. Hubby is in a low at the same time....doesn't remember his dad screaming at anyone.

What an absolute merry-go-round! Father and son, both non-compliant diabetics....trying to make the rest of us slowly go nuts! LOLOL!

My mother-in-law has a very unique way of dealing with my father-in-law's lows.  She has shingles in her left face/eye area.  The moment that he starts to go low, she has an "attack". She will "take to her bed" letting our schrill screams of pain. I believe that this works to raise his glucose levels as his adrenaline kicks in because he has to "rescue" her from her pain. He immediately rushes to her side and starts to be her "nurse" trying to comfort her and get the screams of pain to stop.  It's an amazing scenario to watch...but it not only works on her husband, it works on her son (my hubby) to get him out of a low.

How do I know her "attacks" are fake? She has never ever had one when the guys are out of the house. But the minute they return.....her shingles flare up.  Maybe she's more brilliant than I give her credit for being!

All that screaming and yelling and no one remembers a thing....except the non-diabetic family members who were the victims of the diabetic lows of their spouses.

But in some sick, sad, twisted way...it helps me. I can now talk back to hubby and father-in-law, stand up to both of them, inform them they do not have my permission to act like that....be aggressive and demand they shut up because a) they will not remember what I said, and b) sometimes a shocking statement like that will truly make them shut up!

How on earth did I get so blessed to have TWO non-compliant diabetics in my life???