Hey Tom's wife - I'm happier again! LOL!

I'm back with 2 of my sisters and we are just having so much fun.  I made the choice to come here and not go with him to his nephrologist.  I'm glad I did.  I had a chat with hubby before I left and sort of asked him to be strong and no allow them to stop the meds that control his bladder.  He was.  They didn't stop it.  His blood pressure is starting to come down.  The headaches are starting to give him some relief.  The flatulence on the other hand.....still a huge problem as he is being kept awake all night long with stomach problems.

I did give him the list of complications to show to the doc, but he didn't do it.  Do you know what he said? He asked if there was any good news on it and I said, "no", and he said, "well, then, I don't want to read it."

I nearly fell over.  But then that's sort of how he is about his diabetes.  He only wants to believe the good side of it.

And remember how angry I used to get because he would tell people that he didn't have a blood pressure problem?  Well, I do think that's behind us seeing as how he needs FOUR medications to get it down.

All I can do is shake my head.  But I am turning this all back over to him.  He can pick and choose what he wants to do.  My life isn't over just yet, so I'm moving forward doing things I want to do.  And for the present time, that's exactly where I need to be so I can get myself well because I know that it is going to be nothing but rugged mountains in the days and months ahead of us.

DW

Time to let go?

He has an appt with his kidney doc tomorrow. Won't be the same guy, will be a new one.  So a decision point for me.

a)  Do I go and put up a fight when this new guy wants to change meds, take him off the stuff that keeps him out of depends because it's too hard on his kidneys?  Do I go and do battle?

b)  Do I just stay home and let the docs take over and do whatever they want to do.  Do I give up the fight to help him?  Do I just let whatever be will be?

He is on a path of such physical destruction anyway.  Why should I be fighting to keep him alive?  Why should I be researching every new drug they put him on?  He's on 3 BP meds now.  WOW!!!  And his humulin RU 500 is back up to 32 units in the am and 16 units at night.  That's 48 units per day x 5 = 240 .....he would need to take 240 units of humulog per day.... that's why he's on the concentrated stuff.

Current meds:

Allopurinol 100 mg 3 tablets in morning uric acid

Aspirin 81 mg 1 pill in morning & 1 pill at night *

Fenofibrate 160 mg 1 per morning cholesterol & triglyceride

Humulin R U-500  32 units  8 am and 16 units 6 pm

Lisinopril 2.5 mg  1 tablet in morning BP

Nitroglycerin .4 mg as needed heart

Atorvastatin (lipitor). 80mg 1x per day at night for cholesterol

Terazosin 10 mg  1 capsules at night, bladder control

Metoprolol (oppressor) 25 mg, 2x day, blood pressure

Amlodipine 5 mg morning, blood pressure

Fish oil 2 tablets 2 x per day

Multivitamin 1 per day

Stool softener 1x day

allopurinol is hard on the kidneys, but keeps one out of depends

Fenofibrate can cause nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, flatulence....hubby has all of these horrible

Lisinopril can cause fatal liver problems, chills, bloating, vomiting, fainting, fever, diarrhea, nausea....long list for this one

Atorvastatin can cause liver disease, acute renal failure, elevated CPK. Causes weakness, insomnia, chest pain, diarrhea, flatulence, nausea, long list on this one.  Memory loss.  

Terazosin causes dizziness, drowsiness,headache, constipation, fatigue.....erectile dysfunction

Metoprolol - dizziness, drowsiness, fatigue,diarrhea, unusual dreams, trouble sleeping,depression, vision problems.  Can reduce blood flow to hands and feet.  Slow heartbeat, sexual dysfunction, hair loss, mental/mood changes, depression and more

Amlodipine causes peripheral edema, fatigue, dizziness, palpitations, nausea, impotence, depression, insomnia, tremor.....can increase angina or actually cause a heart attack in rare occasions.  

And because no one is looking at the "whole", each specialist comes in and adds/deducts their own drugs of choice....I truly believe they are going to kill him.  

For the past 2 years, I have been researching every change they make, going to every appointment, fighting with doctors, surgeons, nurses.  I tell them he will not stop certain meds because another specialist has told him to never stop it.  It truly has been a complete nightmare.  And I think I have to give up.  I think I can no longer go to bat for him.  I think we have to just let the medical profession do whatever it is they want to do and he can follow their protocol.  He's not going to follow the eating plan and he's certainly not about to exercise, so why should I do battle for him?

So I think I'll head to my sisters early tomorrow and skip this doctor.  I truly hate doing this to him, I feel like I'm giving up.  But I also know this is causing a stress on my physically and I need to put myself first. And as a side note, I am getting a little better, so I think physical therapy is helping....that and clearing out my calendar and spending more time with my family, away from diabetes.  That may sound terrible to some, but I have to get my own physical strength back so I can help him when he needs it most.  And I think that day is not far away.

DW

Today's labs

CK Creatine Kinase 336
cholesterol 184
triglyceride 1183
HDL 24
LDL/HDL ratio 160
ALT 40

He is packing on the pounds once again, eating anything he wants.
No exercise.
Glucose running too high
Blood pressure is high.

Just started Metoprolol yesterday in addition to Amlodipine.

Still taking
Allopurinol
Fenofibrate
Lisinopril
Terazosin
Humulin R U500 (concentrated)

Plus vitamins, aspirin and other supplements.

DW

Been playing

Decided to go visit mom, my youngest sis and my brother this week.  It was great!  Just got home.

Here's the funny thing. Every time I leave, hubby has something go wrong.  This week, he had the flu and a temp of 102.  He wasn't sick when I left, wasn't sick when I got home, but claims that while I was gone, he was sick.

And something like this happens every single time I'm gone.  So I need to start keeping a record of it here.

Personally, I think he is trying to manipulate me, make me feel bad and make me want to stay home.  Probably not going to happen.  I'm off to see my other 2 sisters next week. I sure wish we all lived in the same location, but we don't.  2 hours one way this week, 3 hours another way next week.  The good thing is that I am getting out more and more, seeing them more.  I just love it!

Today I also saw my son's other grandmother.  She is 80 and in a nursing home close to my mom.  It was so sad.  She is so weak, on oxygen, in a wheelchair, looks absolutely worn out and I just kept thinking that I cannot let myself ever get into that condition. Granted she has had 2 strokes, bypass surgery and is diabetic.  But I would rather die than be where she is.  So a good example, a good eye-opener that I need to do whatever it takes to get and keep my health.

And yes, I'll be painting another wall this weekend!

DW

Painting the walls

I am so slow!  Today, I got a 4' wall and a 2' wall done. There are lots of angles inside this house.  I got the inside of the front door done and the outside of the door from the utility room to the garage done.  So most of the entryway is done. Feels great.

Cleaning out as I go.  Have a few more boxes of stuff to put on ebay.  Planning a garage sale next month.  Gotta get rid of stuff - less to move!

Hubby went all week and never called his cardiologist.  His BP is still running 165 - 185/115.  Way too high.  He is having headaches every single day and not sleeping.

Interesting to me.  If I had that many headaches, I'd be calling my doctor!

He told me tonight that his feet have been hurting.  First he's mentioned that.  The back of his neck is really hurting, but that doesn't surprise me.  The neurosurgeon had explained that the fusion in his back would cause his upper back and his hips to hurt.  I think I'm surprised that it's happening so soon - just 6 months after surgery.

DW

The inability to take care of oneself

Ya think the date on his meter is off?  LOL!!!  He submitted this for the last month's reading.  Who knows.....maybe he's living in the future?  He tells me he's taking his glucose 4 or more times a day.  Hmmmm......


7/27/11 23:40:00 180
7/28/11 13:16:43 257
7/29/11 9:42:45 300
7/30/11 13:10:38 306
7/31/11 7:34:00 169
8/1/11 13:26:14 261
8/2/11 9:41:54 168
8/3/11 11:23:13 124
8/4/11 8:42:45 156
8/5/11 11:55:39 111
8/6/11 8:23:34 200
8/7/11 23:35:58 216
8/8/11 17:37:41 197
8/9/11 12:41:12 189
8/10/11 8:31:11 172
8/11/11 23:23:16 206
8/12/11 18:20:42 300
8/13/11 11:16:27 238
8/14/11 8:24:22 278
8/15/11 17:31:38 192
8/16/11 8:51:28 183


and the doctor didn't make a comment about the dates, she just sent back an order to increase his insulin.


Highs up to 306.  elevated BP, high heart rate.  What do you think?


And no, he still hasn't called his heart doc about his bp meds.


I'm simply documenting the ride.  Nothing else.  


Nothing else I can do.


DW

email messages

I never check the email associated with this account.  I hope my readers will understand and start posting comments directly to this blog.  I think it's really important that we share and support one another.

Got this one a month ago:

Hey so great to see your blog. Am out here in Africa and my husband has been diabetic for nearly ten years now. Am at an all time low as he is on insulin twice a day but still drinks like a fish .I feel sorry for our kids and myself as he has mood swings from extremely happy one minute to yelling like mad the next. Am now tired of being married to him as he does not make an effort to watch his health. Am frantically seeking a job as he is currently the sole bread winner. Want to leave with the kids and perhaps give them a more normal life. Love him very much but i think have carried him around for too long. He will not even see a urologist to help in that department....   

Another Diabetic Wife

So, ADW, you aren't alone, even if you are in Africa!  Your expression, "I have carried him around for too long" is very good.  Perhaps that is what all of us do - we carry them around.  But I'm not so sure what else to do.  I have often said that if I had children still at home, I would be gone.  I would not allow them to suffer through this.  But as alway, be careful not to make a rash decision on the spur of the moment.  All my life, I have always given myself 2 weeks to make sure I feel the same way about any decision I make.  If for 2 weeks, I know I need to do something and don't waver in that knowledge, then I usually proceed.  

Being married to a diabetic can be difficult.  Explain to the kids that it's not really dad yelling, it's his diabetes.  Or better, it's what a sugar low/high does to a person with diabetes.   Teach them to walk away.  Get them counseling.  Train them to know when they need to go to a safe place.  Have a plan in place for when the rage gets out of control.  Heck, I have that plan in place for me and I don't hesitate to walk away, leave the house, go to Walmart, walk around the lake, do whatever it takes to get me out of the harmful situation.  But it is so much easier as an adult.  I can't imagine being a child in the middle of all this.

Know that you have support here among us.  Many prayers,

DW

I think he's in trouble

The latest bp med is not working. His bp is ranging from about 156/82 upwards to 180/110.  He has had a headache all week now.  His heart rate is around 110 most times that he takes it.

I've suggested that he call his cardiologist on Monday and simply ask her to put him back on atenolol.  It worked great.

Because his bp is up, his sugar has gone out of whack as well.  Running high and he's not really eating all that much this week.

So, he's had a headache for a week.  You can just imagine his emotional state.  Grumpy would put it mildly!  Irritated.  Agitated.  Quick to yell at anything and anyone.

I've simply distanced myself from him.  Sent my sister home this morning.  She's seen a "different" side of him this week and now she's not always saying what a great guy he is!  And while she and I have had a great time, it's been overshadowed by his grumpiness and her outbursts that I need to leave him and move in with her.

Pretty tempting at the moment.  But I know it's not the answer.  And I do love him and would miss him terribly.

I was also wondering the impact of long term hot weather on diabetics.  It certainly must come into play. So I decided to research it.

If you are less active than normal, your insulin requirements might change.

You need to drink more water.  Diabetics whose blood glucose is not under control are more likely to dehydrate.

Those with diabetes are more susceptible to overheating.

People with diabetes have an impaired ability to sweat, which predisposes them to heat-related illnesses.

And of course, take extra caution with your insulin.

I think hubby and I are doing most of these, although he's probably not drinking enough water.

So, the heat, the bp meds not working, his glucose not being in control, the headaches and bad moods....I'm pretty sure he's in trouble again.

DW

the medical merry-go-round

The kidney doc wanted hubby to stop taking one of his bp meds as it is too hard on his kidneys.

the heart doc said - never stop taking that, not even for surgery

so he paid to go see the heart doc who agreed that he could stop it now that his surgeries are over.  But if his bp went up, he was to call her

his bp has been around 145/95 for about a month now.  He got ahold of the heart doc today.

She put him on a different bp med.  Said it may make his hands, feet, legs and arms swell up.  My make his heart race.  He is to call if there are any symptoms

I think he should have stayed on the first med as his kidney function is at 36% and it really did control his bp

Once again - idiot doctors.  No one talks to anyone else.  We have to be the messengers, telling one doc what the other said we are to do or not to do and sometimes....we forget!

In the meantime, my sis and I had a wonderful day.

DW

Life is good

and calm at the moment.  No outbursts.  His glucose is still running between 192 and 220.  Too high.  But he doesn't want to change his meds.  He's having a lot of pain, but working through it.

I'm playing more.  Being creative in my studio.

Spent all of last week at my sister's and she's coming down tomorrow to spend the rest of the week here.

We are going to play with dichroic glass in the kiln.  Cutting and shaping glass.  Experimenting.  What we do best.

About 8 years ago, she was in an accident where her left leg was run over twice by her own car.  She fell on ice, the car rolled over it, then reversed and rolled back over it.  It's a miracle that she did not lose her leg when it happened.  As she ages, she's having more pain and problems with it - not sleeping well.  She's not in a wheelchair yet and is able to still get around...but we can tell that it's getting worse as she ages.

So I told her that while we can still drive, still get together, still play, we need to do so as much as we can.

Seems to take my mind off what's going on here when I can be of help to her.  And hubby seems to understand and doesn't mind.  In fact, when she is here, he is in a great mood.

We live about 3 hours apart, and are both working towards an eventual goal of being in the same town as our mom and youngest sister.  It's a goal.

Should be a good week.  Very much needed.

DW

Endo appt

stupid NP.

Wants to return to an insulin schedule he tried 2 years ago that failed miserably.

Why?
Because he didn't try it with her.
He was so mad when we left that his bp was 145/95
He said he will never go see her again

I have to agree

She was completely demeaning towards him

Talked down to him as tho he was a child.

Asked him if he knew what a carb was!!!

That's the problem with an HMO...you get someone different every time.

She said no way he could have dka

I asked what the smells were. She looked at me like I was a complete idiot

No, she never gave me an answer, just changed the subject.

Today's visit set him back 2 years in my opinion.

Sigh.

Dw

Return manipulation

For lack of a better term...he won't paint, so I told him I won't clean up after the dogs anymore. I will no longer put away food that he leaves in the counter. I will no longer take the dirty dishes that he puts in the sink in the dishwasher for him.

About once a day I'm finding something else I won't be doing for him anymore.

I think he's going to end up picking up a paint brush yet! LOL!!!

I'm taking the week off and going up to my sisters again. Finished the kitchen, breakfast nook, and 2 walls in the family room. That included 9 huge windows, a door and a regular sized window. Have been at this nonstop for 10 days and need a break. But it is starting to look wonderful!!

Might just get as good at this as DW2!!

DW

Freakazoid

Oh, James. Name calling is just so unfair. Yes, he called me that and said he expects someone else to call 911 when he passes out.

Now, I think we can assume that James is a diabetic.

So why is he passing out? Because he didn't test often enough? Because he doesn't know that his glucose is low? And while he doesn't take care of himself, and passes out....he still expects someone to be there and call 911!!!

Now I think most of us know that if our spouse passes out, we will make the call. My point is that a diabetic EXPECTS someone to make that call. And my question is why the heck are they passing out??

99% of the time it's going to be because they go low. So why the heck do they allow themselves to get so low they pass out?

Absolutely no excuse for that these days with all the testing equipment available.

James is such a typical diabetic. So quick to accuse and call out names! Never willing to look at themselves and ask the very questions I'm asking. Why do you allow yourself to be in a situation where anyone has to call 911? And yes, we are only talking about Diabetes 911 related calls.

My hubby went all day long without eating. Then went out in the hot sun for an hour, then drank a gin and tonic. I made the call when he passed out. His glucose was down to 30. He had not tested in months. I understand not being hungry and not wanting to eat...but that's still no reason to not test and not take care of yourself. And when you don't do that, it's not my job to be here 24/7 just in case you might need someone to call 911. Lucky for him I was here when it happened!

So James, go ahead, call me all the names you want. But I happen to think the real freakazoid here are men like you who expect someone to take care of them rather than stepping up to the plate and taking care of themselves!!!

DW

Diabetic labels

Rachel wrote:  I don't think you can blame it on Diabetes. I am a type 1 diabetic, have been through two separate major rounds of chemo, almost have lost my life and hand to infection, and have had countless surgeries. My kidneys are failing and I have heart problems. I NEVER use any of my health problems as an excuse, if anything it's just the opposite, I work until I am ready to fall on my face. I can work circles around any healthy person even on a bad day. I usually work 60 hours a week and have a farm for a hobby. If people play that kind of manipulation game, they will find any excuse. Giving another label to diabetics is cruel. Although some may disgrace us with this behavior, it is not a characteristic of all diabetics. Please use care when placing labels, and good luck.


 You claim you are not manipulative.  However, by saying it is cruel to give another label to diabetics....aren't you being manipulative?  The definition of the word is:  to negotiate, control, or influence (something or someone)cleverly, skilfully, or deviously.


If you tell me it's cruel to use a label - you are trying to influence me to do something else.  That's manipulation.


And that, my dear, is the problem with diabetics.  So fast to make accusations.....so slow to accept responsibility.  The fact that you can work circles around a healthy person has very little to do with it....it's how you treat those healthy people, what you expect/ask/want them to do for you.  


Do you:
ask someone to carry glucose tabs with them in case you go low?
expect someone else to give you orange juice or something when you go low?
ask someone else to eat at a specific time because you need to?
ask someone else to limit carbs, sugar....any foods they might like because you don't eat it?
think someone else should call 911 when you pass out.....because the love you?
think that the person you are in a relationship should want to help you because they love you?
ask someone else to make room in their refrigerator for your insulin, or make room on the shelves for your medical supplies?  
do you give consideration for what other's might feel when they see you injecting yourself?
do you expect someone else to assist you with your injections?




I think you get the gist.


Diabetics as a whole seem to think that the people around them that love them are mandated to assist them with the day-to-day operations of this disease.  Based on "love".  I contend that it's your life, your disease, you deal with it.  I'd feel that way about any disease.  


Finally, remember, this is my place to vent so that in real life, I can support my husband as a loving wife.  I don't say these things to him.  I say them here.  And remember that he has had 35 years of non-compliance so I'm sure the outcomes of his daily life are much, much different from anyone younger, with less years of the disease ravaging their body.


Still....I'm going to stick with my "label".  He is manipulative and I suspect there are a lot just like him.

Manipulation

Does it go hand in hand with diabetes?  I have to wonder.  Is it connected to any type of disease or disability?  Is it just the nature of some people?  Is it magnified in some people because they have a disease?

"I'm sick, so I can't do that"
"My back hurts, I can't do that"
"I have a headache so I'm just going to lay here and watch TV"
(I never fully understood that one - you have a headache yet you can watch the motion and noise from a TV?)
"I think I'm going low, we have to stay home"
"I don't have the energy to walk through the grocery store, you will have to do it"

get the pattern?  And because they have all these "excuses" they don't have to do a thing.

I told hubby 6 years ago that the windows in our house were starting to get bad.  Paint stripping away form the wood.  Leaks.  The house is just 17 years old now, so only 11 years old them.

3 years ago I pointed out to him the water coming in from one of the upper windows during a rain.

A year ago I told him I thought we had mold in one of the windows

This week, I took down the blinds, started stripping paint, sanding, recaulking, painting......

We have a huge house.  Enormous floor to ceiling windows.  5 in the breakfast nook alone - where I started.

It HAS to be done.  We cannot sell this place the way it is.

I asked him if he would help me.  He said, "You know I don't do stuff like this.  I hire it done."  I SCREAMED at him, "you know you can't afford to hire it done!"

He picked up a piece of sanding paper and said, "what do I do?"

I YELLED at him to get out of the kitchen - to just go upstairs and get out of my sight.

So there he's been all week until today - he parks himself in the family room off the kitchen with the TV on blare.  I asked him if he  would go to Lowes and buy me a new sander.  He said "no".

I am livid.  Again.  He has manipulated this situation to the point where I am sanding and repairing all the windows, painting the walls and baseboard as I go, while he sits in his recliner watching TV, eating nuts and petting the dogs.

I just want to scream my head off.

My pain level is excrutiating today.  I am ready to simply walk out of here.  And I may yet.  Just go back to my sister's for another week.  I am so pissed off at him.

But then, we all know he does not want to sell this house.  He does not want to move.  So this is intentional on his part.  To not repair or fix a thing and thus, he can't sell it.

He is such an asshole.  Diabetes is his crutch.  It allows him to manipulate me, plus everyone else he knows, into doing things for him.  I hate this disease.  But today, I hate him even more.

And I now honestly know why he doesn't even try to take care of himself.  If he were healthy - he wouldn't have this crutch and he might actually have to get off his ass and do something.

Horrible human being.

DW - really pissed off today!

Time flies

I can't believe it's been a week since my last post. His endo called because of his high a1c and he ha an appt with them. Nephrology called and scheduled him. At least someone is watching his numbers now. Protien in the urine is way too high. Still getting the dka smells daily. A friend said that Glade works better than Febreeze.

My pain seems to be improving. I start PT next week.

Still downsizing, selling off on eBay and craigslist. Feels great.

When I was at my sisters, I found a glider rocker and ottoman at a thrift store. Put it in my studio. It seems to have turned out to be a kind of therapy. When I rock in it, it makes my hips move which seems to help the pain. The gliding seems to be therapy as well. Very restful. Hubby really liked it so I found one just like it this week on craigslist and we now have it next to his bed. Maybe it will help him as well!

Teaching art all day tomorrow. Had a genealogy meeting all day today. Continuing to do the things that I enjoy with less worry about him. Just working tom reduce my own stress.

A1c at 8.3

proof he's not keeping it under control at all.  Can hardly wait to see what the other labs show, but probably won't have the results til Tuesday due to the weekend.

I had a wonderful staycation at my sister's place.  So rested.  Came back Friday.  He fell Thursday evening going down the stairs and didn't tell me until I got home.  Hurt his back.  Taking dilaudid again.  Fine with me....I'm just going to "use" this as ammunition that we need to get to a one level as soon as we can.  :o)

So, his back is hurting him and everything for the weekend got cancelled.  Not going to slow me down.  I'm back from my morning errands and I'm off to the movies next.  Taking care of my stress the best I can.

DW

The great experiment

I have been here at my sister's since Sunday.  My body is loving it.  No pain, no stiffness.

I moved heavy furniture today helping her.  I lifted, carried, restacked heavy books.  I worked hard for 3 hours. I could not have done this a week ago.

I am going home Friday.

If I get sick again, then I am going to turn around and come back here and if it goes away.....then I will know that is is the stress he is causing me.

My brother-in-law and I talked about that tonight.  He started pointing out to me all the stressful things my husband says and does.  Things I hadn't paid an ounce of attention to.

Others are seeing what I'm blind to. It helps to know.

This is my "great experiment"  We won't know the results for a few weeks....but I have to say, it is wonderful to be able to move again.

DW

What is up with the potato chips?????

Is this EVERY diabetics food drug of choice?  I was reading other posts/comments and it hit me....it is my husband's drug.  He will sit and eat an entire LARGE bag at one time.

OK, if I ate a whole bag of potato chips - I would be vomiting!  We never have less than 3 or 4 bags in the pantry and I can't begin to tell you when the last time is that I had any.  If I do the shopping, I get pringles low fat.  He hates those!  So he will actually go to the store to buy chips and tell me I forgot to get them!  LOL!!!

It does not pay for me to shop "healthy".  If I buy fat free cream cheese, or low fat cheese, or skim milk....he will just go get what he wants.  I sometimes wish we lived an hour from a grocery, but I doubt that would change a thing.

Eating out is his all time fav thing to do.  I've written before about how he can't decide until the last minute what he wants for dinner.....and it doesn't matter how full the fridge is....it's something that we don't have.

But potato chips.  That's a quandry for me.  Carbs.  Boost in glucose?  Salt?  Oh, he always wants the same kind, too.  Lays.  unflavored.  And he will just sit there and eat the entire bag.

Down to the crumbs.

Then he will fold the bag over the top and put it back up in the pantry.  Yes....even when there are only crumbs left.  One time, I conducted an experiment.  I didn't empty the bags out of the pantry and he just kept buying more.  We had 20 bags up there with only crumbs in them.  Men - idiots!  LOL!!!

So my pain has been much better today.  Now that I now this is coming from stress, I can tackle it head on.  Every morning I get up and turn my day over to God.  This morning I asked God to just take everything that was on my mind and hold it for me.  Maybe it will work. I had a good day.  I made cocktails of Aleve and tylenol.  Have one more that I can take.  Seem to help.  That and the heating pad. Oh, I have a heat massager - one of those thumper kinds - and I spent half an hour running it over muscles today. We'll see if that helps.  But I could get my legs in and out of the car and hadn't been able to do that in a couple of weeks.

I did tell him that he has to start doing more around here.....that we have to take some of the stress away from me.  So he went outside this morning and uncovered the awnings and got the sunbrella up.  Then he helped me get the pads on the chairs.  First time in 4 years that he's helped me get the back deck ready for summer.  And I was able to spray all the flower beds for weeds.  It's been a good day.  Yeah!!!

7:00 pm though and he's been in bed for half an hour.  I literally couldn't lay in bed that long - from 6:30 pm to 7 am???  Not me!

I'm thinking of going to my sister's tomorrow instead of Monday.  Get a head start on my time away.  I think I need it!  But before I leave, I'm going to tell him that I do not want to come home to a dirty house, dog-peed on carpets, etc.  He's going to have to take care of the place this week.  :o)

DW

Too much stress - what it can do to your body

Just something to think about.

Diseases caused by stress:
Skin disorders
Obesity
Asthma triggers
Autoimmune Diseases
Hypertension and heart disease
Migraines and headaches

Constant stress can cause serious immune system dysfunction.

Home, children, overtime at work, finances, volunteering, husbands.

Death of a loved one, divorce,substance abuse, miserable jobs.

All promote the release of cortisol (our stress hormone)  which can cause destructive immune factors to be released.

Abnormal levels of these cortisols are associated with autoimmune conditions, inflammatory diseases and allergic conditions.

When cortisol counts go up, DHEA counts go down. DHEA is the immune and anti-aging hormone which helps repair and maintain tissues, reduce atherosclerosis, increase insulin production and balance, control allergic reactions, and balance the immune system.

Low levels of DHEA cause sexual dysfunction, muscular shrinkage, memory loss, degenerative disease and poor immune function.

Life with a non-complaint diabetic is 24/7 stress.

So how do we go about reducing stress?

1.  touch therapies and reflexology....relax the muscles, relaxes the circulatory system, sooths the nervous system.

2.  slow down.  take care of yourself.  eat healthy food.  take a daily multivitamin that includes high levels of B complex.

3.  learn relaxation techniques that suite your lifestyle and personality

4.  meditate (any activity that helps keep your attention calmly in the present moment)

5.  breathe.  Deep.  Slow. In. Out.

6.  self massage

7.  take a time out.  No wonder I love long hot baths.

8.  music. sing.  play the piano.  listen to soothing music.

9.  positive thinking.  30 seconds is enough to shift your heart's rhythm from stressed to relaxed

10.  love.  Love your pet.  Love your child. Love yourself.

So I have failed at this.  I have been under such intense stress for the last 3 years. First with his heart attack, then open heart surgery a year later, then the 2 spinal fusions surgeries a year after that (this past February)  21 days of him in the hospital with me fighting for his life, for his care, nearly 24 hours a day.  Then 3 months of intense home care.

And in that process, I did not take time to take care of me. Oh, I thought I was.  But I really wasn't.  My art wasn't enough.  My body started to attack itself.  I ignored every single symptom.  Until 2 weeks ago when I physically could not move.  I called my doctor and said I needed help.  Today, she did all kinds of xrays, lab work and she thinks that my immune system is attacking itself.  We are going to rule out as much as we can, but it seems apparent that my body has attacked my muscles, causing weakness and muscle pain.

We are starting physical therapy immediately and will be treating this with meds.  There is hope for a good prognosis, but if we don't "fix" me, I could well end up in a wheelchair - way too young!

All because I thought it was more important to take care of him than to listen to my own body.

Hrump!  I think things will be changing around here tomorrow! I have cleared my calendar for the next 10 days.  I am going to stay with one of my sister's next week and relax.  Completely and totally forget about everything and anything here.  Sort of a "cleansing" process so to speak.  I will be altering my diet, adding exercises and stretches, doing everything possible to nip this in the bud.

My body is screaming at me to slow down. I'm going to listen.

DW