A few days ago he started to cough. A dry cough. Said he felt like his chest was filling up with fluid. I told him to see his doc - he can't get in until Thursday.
Today, he is struggling to breathe. He talks in short sentences and you can tell he can't get air in to speak.
He refuses to go to ER
He refuses to call his doc.
I have done everything I can to make him comfortable.
What if his doc tell him he needs to go on dialysis - he still says he won't do that.
What if they want to admit him to the hospital - he says he won't go.
I think diuretics will help short term, but nothing much long term from what I can find.
I know my "worry factor" has increased in the past 72 hours. Wondering if we are now full blown stage 5 ESRD.....or if this will pass.
Today, I am feeling old beyond my age. Can't begin to fathom how he is feeling.
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3 comments:
Maybe he just wants to die of pneumonia. I heard that it is one of the kindest ways to die. And if he saw his Dr the Dr would have to cure the pneumonia.
If I felt I were already dying I would not want to have a Dr. interrupt that. Especially from one way that is kind to the person doing the dying.
Hang in there.
It sure does sound like you two are going through a major change.
Here at our house the anger and frustration and weirdness continues. I will not stop doing what I do to keep myself sane just because he gets mad and tells me to stop.
I have learned how to be hard against his assaults.
But I sure do hope that this will not also make me bitter and angry too.
I notice that I have lost alot of my daily inspiration to care for my own health, etc.
Protecting myself against constant negativity and numerous irrational anger outbursts towards me has really taken it's toll on me!
Health is the most important thing to maintain too.
I suppose I had better just suck it up and force myself to get back to the habit of my good health patterns - daily habit.
Or I'll be in a world of hurt before you know it.
Right?
I wish you would post again. You have meant a lot to me over the last 9? Years since I found your blog. I've tried to post multiple times but didn't get thru security. I hope that life is treating you well.
Hi Jojo....I have been trying to post once a month. Go over to the far right side of the blog page and you can click on the dates since this post and read what's going on. Have I been blogging 9 years? That seems impossible!!!
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