Thursday, March 20, 2008

Dieting

He is now up to 250 pounds. He was around 205. And he admitted tonight that he needs to lose weight. So, tomorrow morning...we are just going to eat healthy. I decided against Nutri Systems as I do not think he would like the food and thus he would not stick with it.

I like Adkins...but I don't think it's so good for him....even if he added in some carbs.

I do quite well on Weight Watchers....but he is not about to count points, measure food, etc. And I am planning a trip and will be gone 3 weeks next month and then he is traveling most of May.

So tonight, we agreed on a "plan". Who knows if it will work...but at least I plan to try to help him with it. It's been 5 years since we did a diet together. I know, women should never diet with men. But we seem to do this quite well together. We are simply going to eat a lot of salads and fresh fruit and veggies. If we eat out, we will eat salad. No sugar. Lots of water. Very little white flour, if any. Low carb whole wheat bagels and pita bread. Low fat everthing and we are going to watch cholesterol in food.

He agreed to start walking on the treadmill tomorrow.

At least he is willing to try.

:o)

DW
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3 comments:

L.M. said...

Hi DW
I am a diabetic and I was in denial for over 7 years so I understand what your hubby is going through. I am not here to sympathize with your hubby because I know I put my hubby through hell!! My wake up call is when I ended in the hospital 2 years ago. Maybe your hubby has not hit rock bottom yet, where he realizes that he needs to start helping himself. Men also respond in different ways to depression which can be linked to diabetes as well as other factors. I glad you have decided to take care of yourself. Its very important to take care of yourself because there is nothing you can do for hubby until he wants to. Show this to your hubby, maybe it will help. I would be more than happy to talk to your hubby and give him some encouragement.
L.M.

3/22/2008 4:12 PM
Lilly said...

WD,
First of all, let me thank you so much for your courage in writing your blog. I found it a couple weeks ago, after one more "big blow-up" at home over nothing. These horrible mood swings seem to be something no one talks about, and I was able to find practically nothing out there until I found your blog. Thanks for letting "us" know we're not alone!

I have laughed and cried through the entire 2 years of your blogs. I felt I needed to read everything before I responded.

First of all, my husband has been a Type 1 diabetic for 30 years, but has shared so many of the same symptoms with your husband (as I have shared so many of your experiences!) We are both in our 50s, and this is not a first marriage for either of us.

When we married 9 years ago, he was on his way to kidney failure, but was still functioning fairly well. He had already had a triple bypass in his late 30s for congestive heart failure, and advancing neuropathy. One thing I have noticed in your blogs is that there has been no mention of a diet prescribed by any of your husband's doctors which specifically addresses his kidney failure... or maybe you have just not been made aware of it? Maybe because he has not made that all-important visit to a nutritionist. My hubby was put on a low protein, low potassium, low salt, low phosphorous diet. Liquids were also limited. If I remember correctly, he was limited to 4 ounces of meat or fish a day, 1/2 cup of milk, and we had to be very careful even with several veggies and fruits. For example,potatoes needed to be soaked for several hours to leach out access potassium, and things like bananas and oranges were absolute no-nos. We also needed to stick to white/refined grains instead of whole grain, which I hated... we were a 2-bread family for awhile! It was a very hard diet to follow, and I had to invent our own recipes. He was fairly compliant about eating what I cooked, (as he didn't want to go on dialysis) but he also would do things like buy himself 2 donuts everytime he would go out, etc... sigh!

He did finally have to start dialysis, and it was no picnic. He had a fistula in his wrist as an access port, which never fully matured because of the diabetic complications. Being on dialysis keeps you alive, but it is not a quality way of existing. It saps a person of any energy they have, among other things. After 11 months on dialysis, "we" did a kidney transplant together. He now has one of mine, as we were a match. This was 6 years ago.

On good days, I'm glad I did it. On bad days, I question whether I did the right thing! Diabetes continues to take its toll on his body, although he now has a working kidney. Fortunately, he does NOT have the foot problems that your husband has, but he does have worsening neuropathy, the beginning of cataracts, constant pain from spinal stenosis, difficulty walking/falls because of lack of feeling in his feet and legs... you get the idea. I am also concerned about memory problems as well. The anti-rejection meds have also taken their toll. The small amounts of prednisone he now will always have to take have caused muscle weakness, more mood swings (which I really did NOT need!), and increased appetite.

At this point, his days and nights are totally mixed up. Most of the time, he sleeps most of the day, and stays awake most of the night. Some of this may be due to the meds and/or depression, but I think much is due to choice, as there is less interaction with me that way. Once up, he almost always finds something to yell at me about. And yes, a little piece of me dies every time!

I had to move into the guest bedroom quite some time ago, as he "jerks" constantly most nights. This is probably related to the neuropathy, and might be part of what is going on with your husband as well. He also snores to beat the band, and has a cpap machine which he won't use. He's not happy with me being in the other room, but I need the sleep to maintain my own sanity and energy. I have tried to make over the room as a haven for myself, as it is so often needed. I've found I need to take care of myself. Good for you, that you've discovered that as well!

Like you, I also have my "cave" in the basement! I have my arts/crafts workspace down there, along with a TV, library, etc. It give me another place to "get away," when weather prevents me from being outside, and/or I feel the need to be creative.

Again, thank you for sharing. You have no idea how thrilled I was to find your blog. It is like a lifeline! Keep hanging in there, and keep pursuing the things you love. It helps tremendously.

3/24/2008 11:05 AM
Diabeteswife said...

L.M. - This blog is for me and I won't show it to hubby as it would horribly upset him. Just trust me on this one.

Lilly. It is so nice to have you here. I think very few spouses are willing (or maybe it's more about having the ability) to write about their experiences with diabetes from their view. I suspect guilt is a huge factor in that.

My hubby has been given numerous diets and has seen a nutritionist. He refuses to follow any of them. I had thought a couple of days ago when I posted this that we were going to start eating healthy...but alas, he changed his mind. I posted too fast. He ate about a pound of chocolate yesterday (Easter).

Things seem to change in a flash around here. And it's the constant roller coaster that just drives me nuts.

You are quite brave to have donated a kidney. I'm not real sure I would do that. I love him more than enough to do so if we were a match...but like you are hinting at...is it worth it? This disease will continue to deteroriate his body in so many ways. Having a new kidney doesn't really eliminate the problems that diabetes presents...in fact, I wonder if it doesn't prolong the agony in a lot of ways. You'll understand when you read the next blog.

3/25/2008 12:15 AM

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