A civil discussion re diabetes

Something is happening with him. It will be interesting to watch over the next month or so. He came home from the doctor this morning and sat down right next to me on the sofa. Note...I'm still pretty sick with this pneumonia. He said, "well, do you want me to bring you up to date on what the doctors are saying?" I jokingly said, "is it good or bad news?" He said, "well, not so good". So I decided...not a time for jokes!

The doctors cannot agree on how to help him.

The urologist wants to start him back on the drug that made him incontinent. I asked if he was going to buy depends and he said he did not have an option. He is not voiding everything and they need to help him clear everything out.

The rheumatologist wants him to start back on colchicine to reduce the uric acid build up in his feet. If the tophi gout does not decrease, he is looking at both feet being amputated.

The nephrologist does not want him on the colchicine as it impairs and further reduces his kidney function levels.

So the primary care has agreed to start the colchicine again with monthly kidney function tests.

He was just is a very pensive, quiet mood, the whole time he was explaining all this to me, so I decided to push the envelope and asked if anyone had discussed nerve ending damage in his heart and he said no. I suggested meeting with an endocrinologist once again....thinking that would be a place to start. He agreed, but said he thought they would just send him back to the diabetic nurse. And I said, "well, she might be a place to start with that line of questioning. I just think someone needs to be looking at this."

I then (deciding to push a little more) asked him if he had given any thought to going out on long term disability at work? He said he was starting to think about it. I told him that once they diagnose him as ESRD, then he should apply for disability, SSA and medicare and get the ball rolling. But that he needed to start discussing this plan with his doctors now as they ultimately would be the ones to get this approved for him.

This is the first time ever that he has even been willing to discuss disability. And no one got upset!

So I then made the comment that I heard the housing market was going to turn around in 2009 and I thought that as soon as it did, we should sell this place and downsize to a 1 level place. He just said, "I think you are right."

At least the seeds have been planted for future discussions on what I think are 2 major changes we will need to make.

The sad part of our conversation is that he thinks he will not be alive in a year. I jokingly said, "oh, no you don't! I know the statistics. You have 5 more years before ESRD and then you have 10 more years at least!". I just don't want him to be thinking suicide thoughts because I know that leads to depression.

I am so thankful that he is at least seeing more and more doctors, that the doctors are at least finally talking to each other about what drugs are best for him and that we are moving forward. I think that perhaps my discussion with his diabetic nurse last week has done some good. I have a feeling she heard my desperation and took it to heart!

Now, back to getting me well so I can help him a little more.