A friend found this link and sent it to me:
http://www.everydayhealth.com/cs/forums/thread/88751.aspx
So perhaps spouses are starting to speak out about uncontolled diabetes and a person's unwillingness to take care of themselves.
My hubby already has neuropathy, kidney failure, erectile dysfunction, tophi gout, high blood pressure, loss of nerve endings/feelings and loss of eyesight.
He will not eat a thing all day long and then eat a bag of Dove chocolate because his sugar is low.
One person wrote "I told him I've been a caregiver all my life and dont feel like seeing you dieing".
I can certainly understand where this person is coming from.
Another wife wrote: " I TRY VERY HARD TO FIX THE KINDS OF FOODS HE SHOULD EAT. HE EATS WHAT I FIX AND THEN GOES TO THE STORE AND GET COOKIES OR CANDY AND EATS THAT".
Oh, that is just so familiar!
Someone suggest printing out facts from the internet. I have tried that. Hubby says you can find anything to prove anything on the internet. And he is probably right on that one. But you would think something from the Mayo Clinic would have an impact on him...but it doesn't.
It is so sad to read about the other diabetics who do not take care of themselves. It makes me want to cry because I know exactly what the spouses are going through.
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Hubby informed me that he has a cataract coming on one eye. He has had cornea transplant and already wears soft lenses over hard lenses and reading glasses for close up work. I read somewhere that high blood sugars raises the risk of cataract by 40%. His doctors have told him to pay attention to it and when he starts to notice a loss of vision they will discuss it more. He has also been told that he may need new cornea transplants in the near future.
I guess I hadn't thought much about the risk of him going blind...but I know it's possible.
All the signs are there. He just can't "see" what his continued eating pattern does to him. He had cake and pie on Saturday.
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2 comments:
I was in the same space as your hubby. Fortunately I managed to get out of it before too much damage was done. The thing is that I can, perhaps, understand how he got where he is.
What I also wish I could do is strap him in a chair and tell him what the reality is from HIS side of the fence. What he has decided to ignore is that it is going to get a very great deal worse as time goes on. I know he's given up on himself, (At least, I think he has.) what he has to do is work out that if he doesn't pick the ball up and run with it then he will go through purgatory in the end.
Not only will he go through it, his lack of action will put YOU through it too.
Is there, perchance, a local diabetes support group who may be able to help? Perhaps for him to actually meet people who have lost limbs and their sight might just give him the kick in the pants he so desperately needs.
I take my hat off to you for sticking by him. I wouldn't blame you for one second if you decided enough is enough and walked out. He doesn't seem to be respecting you and the love you give him.
My heart goes out to both of you.
Thank you Simon. I, too, wish you could strap him in a chair and talk to him. But that seems to be part of the problem. He does not want to talk about this. He does not want to go to a support group (yes, we have them), he doesn't want to "think" about this disease at all. Therein lies a huge part of the problem.
I have been thinking lately that perhaps I should go to these groups, befriend people who have had amputations, and invite them over for dinner. But I do think it would only make him angrier than he already is.
I am so glad for you that you are no longer in this place. At least it gives me hope that it's possible.
Thanks much!
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