New "wife of diabetic" blogger!

Lynn wrote:

Hope that all goes well with your husband and surgery. My husband is also in a lot of pain with spinal stenosis. However, because of his slow healing, he cannot find anyone who will even consider doing surgery. He has been told surgery may make things even worse because of all his other health problems. I finally "took the leap" and started my own blog today. Not sure how to let other people know, as I have been reading the other blogs you are following. I am still new to this! Here is my link: http://type1d.blogspot.com/ Yes, my husband is a Type 1, but so many of your challenges are so similar to mine. Again, thanks for having the courage to tell it like it is in your blog. You have truly helped, just by letting me know I am not alone in this craziness.

I've added Lynn's blog link over on the right. Lynn, welcome to this tiny group of women who are writing the day-to-day life of what goes on. We are slowly growing. I think it's so healthful to me to simply write what I'm feeling at the moment. It's a great outlet of stress. But more than anything - I'm documenting his progres (or lack of it). Doesn't matter if it's type 1 or 2, we are in this together.

Lynn, it sounds like your hubby is about a year or so behind the process of where my hubby was. He's been through PT and done the cortisone injections. Nothing worked. Here's my thoughts...the nerve endings are dying off. They do not heal. High sugar causes blood vessels to constrict and die off, why wouldn't it also cause the spinal column to constrict? And because this is caused by diabetis, not injury, then it can't be "fixed" without surgery. Just my opinon. Good luck!

Oh, and I have no idea how to market a blog like this. Mine seems to get picked up by the wierdest feeds!


Now, to Tom's wife: Thank you for blogging! I was truly worried. I used to have a mantra when I worked. I would sit at my desk and repeat over and over...IJAJ....IJAJ....IJAJ....it's just a job....it's just a job. Got me through many days!

Hubby's back is so bad he decided we couldn't go to the in-laws this year. I got lucky for once! Horrible people. If they ever read this blog, they deserve to know just how bad they are! I don't envy you at all. Your in-laws sound exactly like mine! Are you sure we're not related???

I have decided that the best gift anyone can give me is bubble bath! Think about it. If I use it, it forces me to spend time soaking in a tub. Which means that I'm not doing something else. I'm resting. Maybe we should all send each other bubble bath. OK - let's save on postage...everyone go out and buy their own bubble bath! LOL!

Hubby has been off work for 2 weeks and we have been resting and relaxing. We turned down every single holiday invite except for 1. It's been a very stress free month. I just don't think he could have handled anything this year. We spent today with his kids and grandkids. Bittersweet. The new grandson (8 months old now) has been diagnosed with epilepsy. Up to 100 mini seizures per day. On new meds and today....no seizures. The parents (hubby's son and wife) look beat - completely drained. So heart wrenching for me as my youngest son, now age 26, has had seizures his entire life. Sometimes diabetes seems like nothing.

DW

Peace, oh! sweet peace!

But I know it's the calm before the storm! He is off work til the end of the year and there is nothing on our calendar. We don't celebrate Christmas much. We will spend the 24th with his kids and grandkids, but it will be a quiet day.

He finally quit gorting on everything in site and is now back to eating salads and fairly healthy foods.

He has agreed to consider water exercise. I'm going to check out local classes.

He said that starting next week, we will do minor exercises to help build up his strength pre-op.

We went to wound care today and the incision on his ankle from his open heart surgery last March is finally starting to close up.

Our first pre-op visit is 12/27. We have 2-3 appointment every week for the next 5 weeks.


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As a side note - I am worried about Wife of a Diabetic 2.....I sure hope everything is ok and that you are just too busy to post.


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Lynn wrote:

Welll we found out his back is messed up bad...will learn more Monday... no wonder he has been in such pain AND limited.
also he was set up with HEALTH BUDDIES via the VA and will be posting his blood readings daily and in communication often so we hope this gets him in a better daily routine for keeping on top of things...hangin' in, girlfriend?

I truly hope his back isn't as bad as what my hubby is facing. We are almost at 2 years of no mobility now. It is no fun, that's for sure. My hubby has an extremely high pain threshold. I think what he's going through would kill me. I'm really hoping this surgery will help. I know we have 8 months of recovery before we will really know anything and I'm going to have to keep him motivated for those 8 months so that he stays on track and heals. Ah! The fun we have! LOL!

DW

What a day!

Some days he just scares me to death!

He wanted to go to Wild Buffalo Wings for lunch

Then to Costoc

He came home and at 3 pm, he ate a whole bag of potato chips

At 4 pm, he ate my leftovers from WBW

At 6 pm, he fixed himself THREE chicken salad sandwiches

HOW can he consume so much? He's going to weigh 400 pounds before surgery and the doctor told he he has to lose 50 pounds.

I'm stuffed just watching him eat.

Wait...maybe this is a good thing? LOL!

Seriously - it scares me how much food he eats.


And a bag of peanut M&Ms in the last 2 days as well.

He's been in a horrible mood since noon today. Just horrible. I'm exhausted. My sis is here, so I do have my sanity!


DW

On again, odd again, on again....

LOL!!! Not sure where we last left off, but we are now back to having back surgery and not going away for the holidays. I should write down the decision of the day, huh? And this today after a new cortisone injection just yesterday. He actually called the surgeons office this afternoon. The or room has been booked and everything is on schedule. I wouldn't do it myself, but then I'm not in pain.

I worry about it being too soon after his heart surgery

I worry that his kidneys will fail with 2 surgeries 2 days apart

I worry that he may be worse off than he is now

It has been 6 full months since he last had any labs done.

He said he will get them done in January.

I am praying for a quiet remainder of the year

My sis is here for. Couple of weeks so he is on his best behavior

And she is giving me much needed reprieve from our daily life

It's all good-- like the quiet before the storm

Dw

Diabetes and back pain

Lynn, this is sort of for you based on your last comment.

And it's just my opinion, nothing professional.

We know that nerve endings die off in the feet and fingers first in a diabetic

But it makes sense to me that nerve endings are dying off inside....as well as outside.

Intestines - causing diahrrea, other complications

Kidneys - kidney failure

lungs - respiratory problems

and what else is dying off? Probably not just nerve endings. Is oxygen getting to all the parts of the body? Feet? Hands, etc.

We know that blood vessels die off due to high glucose. And if he's going low all the time, there's a matching "high" that's doing damage.

If vertebrae collapse, the spine curves.

And spinal column narrowing....has to be the same thing as blood veins narrowing...

When nerve endings die off, there's pain for 2 years.

The sciatia nerve...dying off? Does it? Can it? I'm sure it can.

Horrible, terrifying disease.

But life does go on. No matter what. Hubby's grandma died this week, one of my best friends from gradeschool died...and life goes on.

Hubby's cortisone injection wore off. In the blink of an eye. One day he was doing fine, the next day taking 2 dilaudid at a time.

One day he wasn't going to have back surgery, next day he's thinking about it.

One day, we were going to go away for the holidays, next day we aren't.

Next cortisone injection is Dec 8.

I think everything will change again - once he feels a little better.

But I have to survive between now and then!

DW

Life doesn't stop

just because your husband has diabetes. But there are days when I wish I could just put it on pause!

Hubby's 91 year old grandma died Thanksgiving morning. She lives 1000 miles away.
His dad went into the hospital on Monday with HPB and glucose at 400 - he was passing out all the time.
He went home Thursday pm on new meds.
Tuesday, hubby went to his oldest granddaughter's school for grandparent's day. I had a meeting so couldn't go with him. In attendance was his ex wife, her husband, his son, his daugher-in-law, and his DILs parents.
The DILs mother made the "arrangements" and "forgot" to reserve a spot for my husband...he had to sit in the back of the auditorium.
In the classroom, granddaughter had made cards for everyone but him.

Yes, he has absolutely horrible children who have absolutely no respect for him. What are they teaching their own children?
Bottom line is that he came home and cried. He NEVER cries. This hurt him beyond belief.

Being this upset, with this much going on in such a short time is not good for a diabetic. A roller coaster of emotions.

So my family came to the rescue! 2 of my sisters came with their husbands, drove 2 hours each to get here, and we took him out to lunch yesterday. Everyone doted over him and told him how much they appreciated him and his help with all their computers It was a true thanksgiving. And he really loved every moment of it.

I think we may have to adopt different grandchildren. I doubt he ever goes back to the school. We'll see what he does for the holiday. This is the year he had open heart surgery and they have come to visit him 3 times....they live less than an hour away. It's just a good thing they are not my own kids. LOL!!! Actually, my son treats him much better than his own kids do

Needless to say, it's been one of those weeks. We need a break! Hopefully next week will be calm!

DW

Busy bee here!

Lynn wrote:

My hubby's readings are 179 AND higher...it is seldom under 200...but he is really watching the eating and cut way down on the chewing tobacco so he is making an effort...don't know what to make of your hubby's behavior but it sounds like he is wanting to make good choices but doesn't know what to do at this point.

What's his A1c? My hubby's A1c is 8.2 which is way too high. And, of course, he doesn't watch what he eats at all. Fried chicken wings tonight doused with Peanut M&Ms. He doesn't smoke or chew....about the only "good" habit he has! OK, he doesn't drink either. I know that he really wants to make good choices, but he gives in to what he'd rather do every single day. I've simply given up with him!

I was gone to a meeting almost all day long. He went to bed at 7 pm. I can tell the cortisone has almost completley worn off. He's either sitting on the sofa (recliner on the end) or in bed (adjustable bed). He is getting absolutely no exercise and it's because of his pain - he can barely function.

Between my art and genealogy projects, I am busier than I've ever been. Made the decision that life goes on. Have another genealogy meeting tomorrow, then an art day on Tuesday, a day off on Wednesday, and then driving a couple hours to see mom on Thanksgiving. Major powerpoint presentation due 12/5, so must find the time to put together a video for it...lots of fun things going on right now.

Life isgood.

But in the back of my mind...there's always that non-stop worry about him.

:o)

DW

Prevent diabetes poster child

One of my art pals was here this week. She hadn't seen hubby in quite some time. And in that interim, she has been tested as "pre" diabetic. She said, "You husband is my poster child for what I don't want to be."

I thought that was amazing. At least he is doing some good by being so bad. She has watched him deteriorate over the last 4 years. I was so impressed with her eating. Low to no carbs. No sugar. No white flour. No soda. She is taking all the right steps to keep from becoming diabetic. I congratulated her and I really think she will beat this.

But who knew I was married to a poster child...of sorts?

DW

Something's going on....and I can't figure out what

He is running a low grade temp

The wound on his ankle is slowly healing. 8 months....gives new meaning to the word "slow".

His eyelids are extremely swollen and he has an overall puffiness to him

He doesn't eat anything for 2 or 3 days and then he eats every 2 hours for 2 or 3 days

He isn't sleeping at nights. He is staying in bed most of the day.

If I ask him if he's ok, he says "yes"

He decided not to have the back surgery. Now he's thinking he will have it. It's scheduled for 1/31 and 2/2.

The cortisone shot is starting to wear off. Next one is scheduled for 12/8

He doesn't want to make even the simplest decisions...like what to have for dinner

He was going to go visit his parents for the last 2 weeks of December, now he's not going. (I was going to go with him)

His sugars are running high again...179 fasting.

He is refusing to go to the doctor or get new labs done. He has not had any labs done since June and that was only a partial set, did not include A1c.


I feel like I'm back on that merry-go-round-roller-coaster.

Sorta want to throw up!

DW

Puffing up again

One of my friends came to visit yesterday. She hadn't seen hubby in 3 months. She said, "he's really puffing up, isn't he?"

Interesting because I had told him just the day before that he looked really swollen.

Kidney failure again? Well, we won't know until he starts vomiting again. Such a game of wait and see.

In the meantime, life is good. We are doing less and less, going out less, entertaining less, socializing less.

but I'm ok with that. It's winter. Time to hibernate. LOL!

He added netflix to every TV in the house. We can watch movies from anywhere. At least he is easily entertained!

No sugar lows to speak of. Things are very quiet....very normal. I love it!

A lull in the merry-go-round-roller-coaster.

I couldn't ask for anything better.

DW

When he starts yelling at traffic

I've started asking if he needs to eat. I think he's going low. Why? Because we have plenty of times when we go out and he drives and he can handle the traffic, it's not problem. But other trips, when I think traffic is normal, he starts making cracks and comments about the idiot drivers.

So I've been trying to track this. And if we stop and get a quick bite, or just a cold diet soda...he seems to do much better. If we stop and go in somewhere, sit down and eat a bite, even if it's small....suddenly the traffic is no problem.....all those idiot drivers just disappeared!

Something to think about. The lower the sugar, the more idiots are on the road? Pretty funny! But there's a definite pattern with hubby.

DW

No dialysis

We had an interesting conversation at lunch today. Hubby informed me that he will refuse dialysis when the time comes. He considers it "life support". He has a DNR. So I can sort of understand where he is coming from.

He was quite depressed. Says he is not going to have the back surgery. Is going to just live with the pain. I have been doing a lot of research and if he doesn't do the surgery, I think he will soon be a hunched over man. I suppose it can't hurt a lot to wait a few months, but I do worry about what will happen in the interim. I think it's the cortisone injection doing the talking right now. He had the injection 2 weeks ago and this one took, so he's getting a lot of relief from his pain. When it wears of, it may be a different story.

But I can also understand him not wanting to go through a major surgery just 8 months after open heart surgery. He is still trying to get the incision on his leg to heal. We went to wound care again today and they are not happy with the lack of progress, so have changed the protocal a 3rd time and we return in 2 weeks.

Hubby made the comment that he wished all his money wasn't going for medical care and I have to agree. Co-pay for office visits runs about $500 per month, prescriptions are running around $250 per month. That doesn't count larger co-pays for non-formulary items. I'm ever so grateful that we have the money now, but I wonder how long. And can he ever retire with these amounts of medical expenses? Probably not.

The idea of not doing dialysis scares me to death as I will then have to watch him die slowly.

And I wonder if by then the medical profession will have the power to force him to do something he doesn't want to do.

Such a horrible disease.

DW

Lynn wrote:
Thanks for enlightening me about why a diabetic rants...and how they probably can't control it. It is so great lately for us but I do think the less stressful retired lifestyle along with the antidepressants have brought about this change, because the years of being in a pressure cooker lifestyle, with kids in the house and his teaching and coaching,and then being an administrator, then even after retiring from that taking on co-running a diner...all the pressure of stress through the years created these moments of ranting and like you said, it didn't matter who got in his path, they heard it and saw it. Thanks for clarifying this...I sometimes got tired of making excuses for him, but this makes more sense. WOW! THIS IS HUGE! My hubby readings are always high, but perhaps he does dip down and that is when he blows up. thanks...this blogging about living with diabetes is a sanity saver. HUGS AND LOVE!

I think it's important to realize that highs can be the same as lows. There's an imbalance in the glucose levels. When my hubby goes high, he is very irritated and edgy. Everything annoys him. He doesn't seem to rant and rave like he does in a low, but he simply can't tolerate anything.

The other important thing is to understand how highs and lows work together to form an A1c. My hubby's A1C runs around 6.2. Yet we know that he has one low after another. In order for the A1c to be that high, he HAS to have a lot of highs to average out to be 6.2, when he has so many lows. Think of it as a ball. If a ball hits the floor and bounces 6' high, the middle is 3'. In order to keep the ball at 3', right at the middle, then every time it hits the floor (zero) it has to bounce to 6' high (the high). If it bounces to zero, then 2', then zero, then 2', then zero, then 2', the middle would only be 1 foot.

Diabetes is the very same thing. If the average is 6.2 and he has 10 lows....he had to have 10 highs in order to maintain that average.

We have done enough recordings that we're pretty certain hubby has his highs while he is sleeping. And that's probably just as bad. Well, while I don't haveto put up with his moods, highs are busy eating up his veins and nerve endings...high sugar does a lot of damage.

Again, I'm not a medical professional, I just write my own personal experiences. And close observation, notes, charts, tracking glucose levels has led us and his physicians to some rather good conculsions. I have to say that he has been pretty level since his open heart surgery. But we are also regulating his eating, exercise, activities more than he ever did in the past. He's much more regular about when he takes his meds. Is he compliant? Probably not by any medical standards. But much more than he ever was in the past.

But also, I have learned how to recognize the lows and know to make him take a glucose tablet. I know when he needs to eat. I know when to proclaim that I'm starving and I have to eat immediately! If I eat, he does, and then his sugar will come back up.

And I will say that life is much more pleasant when glucose is regulated. Don't get me wrong, we still have numerous outbursts. But I'm more prepared for them, know better how to handle them, and know that I can simply get in the car and drive away when I need to. :o)

DW

reene wrote

DW - I so feel your pain! I have so many thoughts going through my mind - I don't know where to begin! Let's see what I get down here and, if any of it makes sense. Let's start with current behavior / situation. I recently went on an east to west coast road-trip with my sister, in her move to the west coast. We had a great time driving ~4500 miles total - checking out many natural wonders of the US. In the meantime, my husband refused to take my calls back home. He kept his cell off and, wouldn't answer the home phone. Kept in touch with our adult children, who had to deal with a couple of low blood sugars during my week away (he's usually good when I'm away). Needless to say, our children had to pick me up from the airport. We really haven't spoken much since I returned which, is not much different from his recent behavior. Although, I have to say his lack of communication isn't that foreign to us - it just seems to have reached at new level. He was probably mad that I went with my sister. He's never been happy with my outside activities - not being supportive of much that I do, including continued education for career growth. But, I can't let him bring me down - make me a prisoner. If I think I'm frustrated now, I'd really be frustrated. The additional activities include: a lot of volunteering at church and working with youth when our children were still in the school system. He's currently treating for Parkinson's, after a couple of years of symptoms. A good year ago, the doc didn't feel it was Parkinson's but, upon husband's recent doc appt (after over a year not seeing a doc), the doc has decided it is Parkinson's. Multiple med's have been prescribed - they may be making a positive difference - I sure hope they are. Just did a little online research to see if there is a correlation with frequent low blood sugars (yes, probably at least a thousand of them here, too) and Parkinson's, finding that frequent severe low blood sugars can lead to brain damage. 

Do we have a match? Well, I'm no MD but.... Brings me back to a doc appt I accompanied my husband to several years ago (10+, at least). I asked the doc if frequent low blood sugars could harm a person. His reply: no more than taking a sh1t or having sex. Thank you oh educated one...here I sit with yet another challenge, possibly a side effect of diabetes. I thought years ago of leaving my husband - actually kicking him out. But, our children (preschool and early elementary at the time) started acting up. It made me question: was it fair to disrupt his or their lives because I wasn't happy with how he wasn't taken care of himself? Everyone needs someone - is my purpose in life to take care of him? Have to say - not much enamored with this purpose. Don't like the anger; the frequent low blood sugars and all that comes with them; trying to function on little to no sleep the next day (most of his lows are at night - resulting in me not getting back to sleep for hours or, just in time for the alarm to go off). Additionally, our children are very frustrated with him. My daughter is very verbal thus, take her comments with a grain of salt. Our son, however, is an extremely fair, level-headed young man. When he starts expressing frustration, then I know it's not fabrication on my part. Our son asked me a few months back if my husband / his father ever said he was sorry or thank you - after I help him with a low. He has not. In fact, lately, he has begun arguing that he wasn't even low (like he did when our children were really young). The tell-tail signs were there, as were the blood sugar results I see when taking a peak at his glucose monitor. Our children have started helping me with the lows. Does this bother their father - thinking that his children are stepping in to help when he can't help himself? Did I make the right decision in sticking with him? All I know is I hate to see our children and myself be treated like the city dump.... OK, enough of my ramblings...thank you for "listening"... It's not an easy life for anyone involved, especially the diabetic.

I have written about this before, but feel it timely to write again.  I'm not a doctor....just the wife of a diabetic. But you can google this and find it just about anywhere online.  Of course, an actual diabetic person is not going to agree with me at all.  I'm used to that by now!  LOL!

When a diabetic goes low, they probably won't remember what they said or did.  They are most likely irritated, which makes them angry.  They won't know who or what they are yelling at...it's simply the unlucky person in their presence.  It could be the wife, the child, the neighbor, the employee.....whoever is there.  

Yelling, getting angry, is a body's natural way to increase adrenaline, which increases glucose, which will get them up and out of the sugar low faster than just about anything else.  

And at the same time, they won't remember any of it.

The problem is that the spouse, the child, the employee.....they remember every single word.  They don't forget.  And to compound the problem, they probably didn't do a single thing to provoke the diabetic's anger, and are confused because they don't know why they are the recipient of such behavior.  The spouse or child may well feel a sense of guilt - what did they do to bring this on? 

I went through this scenario for 5 years before I finally figured out that it was not me!  But for awhile, I really did think it was all my fault.  

And then I went to therapy.

And we figured out a pattern

And a nurse finally listened to me

And she got the doctor to change the time/amount of his insulin

And life got back on track for awhile.

Until the next time his body got out of whack and he started having lows again and the yelling started all over again

And while you would think I had learned and would recognize it as sugar lows, I didn't.  Not at first.  And once again, I thought it was something wrong with me that was making him so angry and so abusive all the time.

Now I know.  I recognize his lows pretty fast.  And with each one, I have to make a choice.  Do I provoke his anger so that his body will quickly create adrenaline and get the sugar pumping again?  Or do I remain quiet, non-confrontational, and just let him rant and rave.  Same end result.

I've tried it both ways.  Not much difference, except when I decide to provoke him, I can at least say the things on my mind, get them out of my system.  And who cares?  He is not going to remember a single word that I said to him!

My husband's previous wife left him after 22 years of this.  I married him before I understood it.  But his children hat him.  They grew up with what they thought was a very abusive father.  They did not and still do not understand diabetes.  They thought he was very aware of what he said to them.  He happens to think he was the greatest father on earth and doesn't have a clue why his kids hate him.  Should his ex have left him?  Who knows!  Should I leave him?  No.  Why not? Because I know exactly what's going on, I know when to walk away, I have learned how to handle his lows.  

But it was a forever struggle.  And I still have my moments when I wonder if I can continue.  Thus the power to stay comes in the knowledge that I can walk away any moment.  Would he understand?  No.  He still doesn't understand why his first wife left him.

We call it the diabetes roller coaster merry-go-round.  You never know which one you are on or what's around the next corner and you always hope for a glimpse of the man you knew before diabetes consumed who he is.

Good luck!

DW

some days are just funny

So, he says to me that he's not going to have the back operation.  Me, I aks him questions.  Why not? You said you don't want to end up living like your grandma did.  What will you do?

He says he will just live with the pain.

I remind him that we haven't been anywhere together in over 2 years.  It hurts him to travel.  He doesn't even go to the grocery store.

He says he will just suck it up and deal with it.

So, I tell him, tomorrow, you can go get groceries.

I want to see you dancing a jig every morning

I want you walking 3 miles a day.

This morning, he gets up and comes downstairs and dances a jig.

I crack up laughing.

But I know from the look in his eyes that just about killed him!

Told him to think about things for a couple of weeks.  No need to make a decision one way or another today.

But today, he is starting on Weight Watchers.  at least 50 pounds to lose.

Pray for him.

It will be a miracle if he can stick with it more than 10 days.  That's usually his outter limit for a diet of any kind.

A dieting diabetic dancing jigger.  Not sure it could get much funnier!

Hope you find something to smile about today!

DW

back home

I had a wonderful trip with my youngest sister.  A much needed break from life for both of us as she takes care of our elderly mom.  I must say that hubby did perfect while we were gone.  No crisis or emergencies.  He took the next step towards back surgery.  Looks like it will be a 2 day process.  6 hours of surgery on a Friday with an incision through his stomach, they put the intestines aside and reach the back from the front, then another 6 hour surgery on Monday where they go in from the back to finish up the process.

That way, he is not under anesthesia too long, less chance of risk.  He will be in the hospital for a week, being fed via an IV.  If he doesn't resume regular food within 8 days, he will be transferred to a nursing home.

I'm thinking with all the complications from diabetes....what are the risks that he will be in a nursing home for an extended period of time?  It took about 8 days after his heart surgery for his systems to fire back up normally.  Now they want to do 2 operations, back to back?  More than I can wrap my brain around at the moment!  I will give it a week or so to sink in, but he did quite well - he recorded the doctor's visit for me and took photos of the models.

They want to fuse 4 discs, insert rods, bolts and a cage.  He keeps asking me what he should do and I can't answer him.  I don't see how he can continue with his current level of pain.  He's basically immobile, so he can't even exercise. He's probably put on 40-50 pounds since his open heart surgery which is not helping a thing, but since he can't even walk more than a few steps, he's bound to gain even more weight.

The earliest they can do the surgery is going to be the end of January.  He could easily gain another 50 pounds by then.    And it's so sad because eating is the only thing left that he truly enjoys that he's physically able to do.

I talked to him a little about just giving up and getting a wheel chair.  He's not willing to do that.  I'm not sure I'm ready to go through such an intensive surgery and what appears to be an extremely long recovery period - maybe 9 months or longer.  I told him to go ahead and contact the surgeon and get surgery scheduled.  We can always decide not to do it.  I need more information as I'm still not certain what type of research to do.

So while I had a nice break for the last 2 weeks, I certainly got myself tossed right back into the middle of everything in less than 2 seconds!  LOL!!!

Choices and decisions.....it's part of what diabetes is all about.

DW

Update

Leaving Tuesday. Gone till 10/28.

Venous ulcer has shrunk another 1cm. The rightndirection. We don't go back tom that dr. For 4 weeks.

He has an appt with the neurosurgeon on the 18th while I am gone. I really hope they want to do surgery.

I found a jar of icing in the back of the fridge tonight! Didn't say a word. Think it's really funny that he's hiding the sweet stuff. If it was me and I was going ton hide something sweet, it sure wouldn't be icing!! LOL!!

Sorry for the typos. I'm trying to blog from my new iPad...it is a learning curve but I love it!

Packing is done. Moff to relax and watch a movie. Indulged and had my hair professionally trimmed and colored yesterday. It feels great!!

Hopeneveryone has a great few weeks. I will be keeping notes from my phone calls with hubby and post when I return.

Dw

Be happy! Eat what you want!

I'm getting ready to go on a trip overseas with my sister.  So I won't be around much for the next month.  It's the trip of a lifetime and I'm beyond excited about it.

I also won't be around to take care of him.

And he decided today that he needs to be able to eat easy-to-fix food while I'm gone.

He stocked up on soft pretzels, cookies, pizza, taquitos.....get the idea?

And I didn't say a word.

Yesterday, he said that the only thing he has left that he enjoys doing is eating.

So I am giving in and giving up for the next month.

He can eat whatever he wants.

Just be happy.

I am letting go. Truly.  Letting go.  He can simply do what he wants - eating and otherwise.

I'm going to be on the other side of the globe.  I can't help him.  He might as well enjoy the time I'm away!

1 pound of peanut M&Ms

Costco sized boxes of cookies

Hamburger helper

His dietitian would have a heart attack.

I tell myself not to think about it.  So I'll write it down here in the event we need to know later.

I'm excited to be going.  Scared to death to be leaving him.  Worried about what might happen.

Telling myself I'm not going to worry.  Nothing I can do about it from there.

But we all know you can't not worry.  :o)

DW

Mary wrote:

Hi DW, I deal with similar issues at my home too. One of my friends mentioned early onset of Alzheimer's disease. I am wondering if diabetic symptoms mimic Alzheimer's symptoms. My husband exhibits nearly all of these symptoms (plus the diabetic symptoms) and he is 48 years old! MaryM *** Here are the symptoms of Alzheimer's from mayoclinic.com Memory loss Everyone has occasional lapses in memory. It's normal to forget where you put your car keys or to blank on the names of people whom you rarely see. But the memory problems associated with Alzheimer's disease persist and worsen. People with Alzheimer's may: * Repeat things * Often forget conversations or appointments * Routinely misplace things, often putting them in illogical locations * Eventually forget the names of family members and everyday objects Problems with abstract thinking People with Alzheimer's may initially have trouble balancing their checkbook, a problem that progresses to trouble recognizing and dealing with numbers. Difficulty finding the right word It may be a challenge for those with Alzheimer's to find the right words to express thoughts or even follow conversations. Eventually, reading and writing also are affected. Disorientation People with Alzheimer's disease often lose their sense of time and dates, and may find themselves lost in familiar surroundings. Loss of judgment Solving everyday problems, such as knowing what to do if food on the stove is burning, becomes increasingly difficult, eventually impossible. Alzheimer's is characterized by greater difficulty in doing things that require planning, decision making and judgment. Difficulty performing familiar tasks Once-routine tasks that require sequential steps, such as cooking, become a struggle as the disease progresses. Eventually, people with advanced Alzheimer's may forget how to do even the most basic things. Personality changes People with Alzheimer's may exhibit: * Mood swings * Distrust in others * Increased stubbornness * Social withdrawal * Depression * Anxiety * Aggressiveness ****

Mary - I am no medical expert.  BUT....here are my thoughts on this.  A person who has diabetes for a long time is a person who is in the normal aging process.  But that process might get speeded up because of the damage diabetes can do.  We know that neuropathy is the loss of feeling in the extremities.  We know that the nerve endings start to die off in the feet, toes, fingers, hands.  And we also know that nerve endings start to die off in other parts of the body, such as the intestines.  Diabetics can go blind.  They seem to lose all types of normal body functions as the disease progresses.

So it would make sense to me that as the nerve endings start to die off in the extremities, there is damage being done to the nerve endings in the brain.  Why would diabetes be selective to what/which nerve endings it attacks?  I think it's such an extremely slow process that we don't notice it. And because it's tied into aging, we often think - oh, he's just getting older - at a much younger rate.

People are so eager to discredit what this disease does to the body.  And yes, if you are compliant, follow the doctor's orders, you can slow it down.  You can even get it into remission.  But if you are noncompliant....you simply speed up the process and the progression of the disease.

So, is it Alzheimer's , or is it just the progression of the disease?  Does one aggrivate the other?  Does one assist and aggitate the other?  I can only guess that it does.  Makes sense to me.

I grew up with a family that went to a Church of Christ - did not believe in any type of medicine.  The father became diabetic.  Did not do anything.  It wasn't many years and the saying was "he blew up".  His kidneys stopped functioning, he retained everything that went in, and he puffed up like a whale and died.  So I know first hand that medication can dramatically slow down the prognosis of this disease.  I also know what it does....and will do..in the long run....because this is what diabetes is.  High sugar eats away and the veins and arteries, and every inch of the body.

Hope that makes sense!


Today was my birthday.  The "real" reason he gave me the ipad.  :o)  It was a very good day for both of us.  We sort of took the day off and just enjoyed each other.  Even did a little bit of talking about the future and the need to downsize and get rid of stuff.   It's so nice to have a good day every now and then.  Reminds you how much you love them and how hopeful you are for even more good days like this!

DW

Support

I must be feeling chatty tonight.  2 blogs in one day?  That means I can go a week without posting again!  ha ha!

A very wise person once told me this:

You need a source of support.  It can come from your spouse and/or family.  It can come from your work.  Or it can come from your church.  But one of those 3 places has to provide you support.  And if you don't have that or can't find it, you will probably fall apart.

I have thought about that often over the years.  There have been times in my life when work was just pathetic....but my family life was wonderful.  I can think of times when my marital relationship was in the tubes, but I was on a high at the office.

And I remember once, in 1992, when I had nothing.  I had been laid off from a job, was going through a divorce, had moved 1000 miles away from family, church, friends - and I do think I had a breakdown that year.

So, in looking back, I think I have to agree with that very wise person - we absolutely have to find support from one of those sources in our life.

Right now, I have such an amazing network of friends.  They insure that we go out at least twice a week - often it's more than that.  I don't work, but my art is my therapy and I get wonderful support from those who see it and appreciate it.   I am surrounded by family who really lift me up on a daily basis.  And because I have all that, I have the strength to help hubby and care for him and be alert to changes in him.

I also spend an hour each morning in Bible study and prayer.  And I am clinging more and more to the strength of my spiritual support as I try to ready myself for our future.

As I think back over my life, I have always had spiritual support.  Even in 1992.  But I will confess it was probably at an all time low that year as well.

If you are the wife of a diabetic and you are not getting support from work, family, religion or friends....you have a difficult rope to tow.  Trying to take care of a diabetic almost demands that you find support somewhere else, as I just don't see it coming from the diabetic.  Maybe I should put that differently.  We have to be strong for them.  Support them.  Care for them.  So we have to find our own support from somewhere else.

Years ago, I didn't know how to find support.  But I have learned.  It comes from setting goals in our own life, volunteering to help others, giving back to others, joining a new group and meeting new people, writing our thoughts in a journal, praying, praying for others, and taking time out just for you.

I didn't start this blog to find support.  But in the process of writing about my life, I have made so many friends, and have gained so much support.  It's truly nice to know that we are not alone.  But I have also found support in my family, my art, and my faith.  Hope you all will find it, too.

DW